Nadette

line inspiration pictures

2011-08-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

I have already begun looking for inspirations for my next fashion line I will make for school. Unfortunately I will not be making it until my senior year. Here are two inspiration boards that I have made.

Boots, Boots and more Boots

2010-10-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been rather obsessed with some of the boots I have been finding online, however can not convince myself to drop the $70-$200 that it would cost be to pick up some of these, but I thinks its still fun to look at.

*All Shoes are from Modcloth.com*

Life: (noun) the condition that distinguishes organisms from inorganic objects and dead organisms

2010-06-17T21:52:00.000-07:00

Wow, its been a while. My life went really fucking crazy for a while. And I guess at this point I haven't really even begun to tell people how crazy, but I need a place to vent, so here it goes.

Well I left my boyfriend of two years shortly after he visited home for Christmas and New Years. It was working and I was not happy. I made some mistakes after we broke up because I hadn't been free for a long time I guess and I was getting attention from guys that I had either ignored before or hadn't been receiving. Quite a few of the people who where previously in my party circle are not longer to fond of me. I ended up dating a guy who I have been friends with for two or three years, he left his girlfriend, a girl I knew for me.

For a while life was really good with me and my new relationship, I was really happy and was enjoying myself so much, I totally forgot how much I missed having someone who i could be with on a regular basis. We had a lot of fun, did picnics and walks and went hiking and tons of stuff like that. Had my birthday, so I am 20 now (whoot). And things where going dandy.

I applied for an I.P.A job at my college, where I would be the adviser for a group of Japanese exchange students for next year, and got it. Which is great other then the fact that it will mean one more year in the freshman dorms but other then that it will be epic.

I also took a class called fashion Line Development which consumed my soul as I made three out fits from scratch. I draped the pieces on a dress from, made patterns from the draping, made samples from the patterns, fitted the samples, adjusted the patterns, made new samples, fitted, made complete garments from finalized patterns. I then had a fashion show with the ten other members of the class and some "ready to wear" or store designs. It sold out and was epically fun.

After I finished that it was basically the end of the quarter and kinda down hill from there, because I didn't have time for basicly anything other then that damn fucking fashion show, I got a D- in my Japanese 101 class (I am going to retake it next quarter). I was kinda stressing about my finals and stuff and about the fact that my boyfriend had asked me to move in with him and one of our best friends and I was kinda getting cold feet, and I thought he was too because he was getting kinda distant. But he assured me that he was stressing about his work as a county computer tech and that he was also in the process of moving out of his mothers house (he had been playing dad to his 10 year old brother for almost 9 months because his parents where going threw a divorce and his mom was going a little crazy because of it). So I really didn't think much of it other then trying to make his life as easy as I could.

So the quarter ended and we moved most of my stuff over to his place and some to my parents house, and things where going well. I was cleaning his house and trying to fit in to the small place. (oh I moved in on Wednesday). On Friday I went over to have dinner with my parents and celebrate my mothers birthday a little late. Well my parents and I have kinda a weird relationship right now and its really kinda draining to be over there, and they where a little ticked when I left and I was also ticked. Anyways I go back over to the apartment and I was locked out and had to wait for my boyfriend and his best friend to come home from where they had gone to drink. So I was pissed at that a little bit too. I was mad cause I felt like I spent a lot of awkward time with his family and when I had asked him if we would come with me to my parents house he told me he wasn't feeling well and just wanted to stay home and play video games, which was ok. And we argured, he told me that he felt like "he was always talking to my representative and never me" because I would agree to do things "to save the feelings of others" rather then voicing my opinion. And I told him that I only did that on things that really didn't matter because he had already voiced his opinion and I didn't really care. Anyways the argument ended with him saying he really honestly wanted to be with me and wanted to make things work.

Well Saturday rolls around we go out to look for a car or moped for me (I had been boring his car for the last few days) and the whole time he was being really distant and pissy. We then go over to his mothers house and baby sit his brother. On the way home I asked him what was wrong, and to sum up the conversation he thought that he never acted like himself around me, and that we where not compatable and now that I was in his space he was able to figure it out, and that's why he has been stressing for so long, and it wasn't going to change if we "tried to make it work" but he still wants to be friends because "he doesn't want to lose someone amazing and good like me from his life". (this wasn't all said in the first convo, we talked about it a few days later and this is finally what came out) I was really devastated because I was really happy with the relationship and with living with him and our friend. So we go back to the house and I throw most of my stuff into my now ex's boyfriend's car and had him take me to my parents.

So I was back at my parents, not where i wanted to be for the summer. And I didn't have my own space, I was living out of my parents living room until my sister got her shit together and moved down stairs (that was a force of friction because she basicly had two rooms and I didn't have any room) and working at my old highschool job. Wonderful. And I basically have no friends left in my home town, my bestest friend now lives in seattle, most of my class (who i can stand) also no longer live here. And the two people I was planning on spending the most time with are well now my ex and his roommate. Wonderful.

I guess i am just feeling really lost and lonely now, and I haven't felt like that for a really long time. I just want to go back to school, I want to go home, cause I don't feel like I belong here or can be myself around anyone here. I don't feel like I have an outlet or an escape and I am becoming stir crazy from not seeing anyone other then family or people at work (and that's not really socializing at all) who are all almost three years younger then me....so basically life sucks right now.

And through this whole thing I feel like I have been neglecting my spiritual life completely and think that I need to go back and work on some things again (kinda another reason I decided I wanted to work on my blog again).

Gods damn enterwebs

2009-12-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

I have been spending way to much tim on the internet (enterwebs as my friends call it) due to being bored, with out a car and snowed into my house over the past week. I have discovered the addictivness of such sits as FML, Texts from Last Night, Fail Blog, and Post Secret. Grrrrr for boredom...FML!!

Daemonia Nymphe

2009-12-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

Well I am home now for winter break. I wanted to post pictures of my drive home, because we drove along the river that I grew up playing in...but never have seen it really in winter, or at least not this late into the season because of the road conditions tend to be rather dangerous, however this year has been extreamly cold but very very dry...no snow yet which is very crazy. So I got to see the river and the ice dams that build up this time of year. Anyways I will post pictures as soon as I get them off my phone.

Well I wanted to do another music post...maybe my last post was also music but I don't remember, anyways, this is about Daemonia Nymphe which has come to be one of my favorite pagan bands, and favorite ritual music. They sing in greek song about the ancient gods and so on, with a little bit of a modern twist in some song, but in others they play traditional greek instruments. Well here are some of their songs, because I feel like sharing their awesomeness lol. Anyways will do another post later.

First Look...Maybe

2009-12-07T13:55:00.001-08:00

So I am applying to be a member of lookbook.nu which is a fashion website, that you have to be invited to join or apply for. Well one of the things you have to do to be accepted is show them what you will post as your first "look" or outfit. So here is is.

I have no idea if this is going to be good to get me in but I am going to try.

None-Western Art

2009-12-06T21:46:00.000-08:00

this is something that I have meaning to blog about for a long time but never gotten around to it. But this quarter I have been taking a none-western art history class. I have found it extremely interesting, because I really didn't know much about the cultures and art of the areas that where covered. We covered Africa, Middle East, India, China, Japan, Early south America and north America, New Zealand and Easter Island. One of the most remarkable things I learned in that class however had to do with me. I consider my self to be a rather liberal person with very few judgments about a particular people...well this class really tested that, because I realised how I had been viewing most of these people with the social connotation of the word "primitive" *see number five below*

(-adjective: 1.being the first or earliest of the kind or in existence, esp. in an early age of the world: primitive forms of life. 2. early in the history of the world or of humankind. 3. characteristic of early ages or of an early state of human development: primitive toolmaking. 4. Anthropology. of or pertaining to a preliterate or tribal people having cultural or physical similarities with their early ancestors: no longer in technical use. 5. unaffected or little affected by civilizing influences; uncivilized; savage: primitive passions. 6. being in its earliest period; early: the primitive phase of the history of a town. 7. old-fashioned: primitive ideas and habits. 8. simple; unsophisticated: a primitive farm implement. 9. crude; unrefined: primitive living conditions.)

Don't get me wrong, i did not feel that this was a bad thing, I just however saw them as being not as civilized, controlled and sophisticated a society as the Europeans.

However these peoples ideas, concepts and ways or life where amazing and so interesting and in many cases much more civil then Europeans of their time. I had no concepts of the massive African empires or the sophistication of the Chinese philosophy. I found elements in each of these cultures that kinda drew me in...not only on a academic level but more on that spiritual level as well. I thought that it was really amazing, and I think of all my other classes that I most likely learned the most in my art history class. Anyways, just thought that I would share that.

Florence and the Machine

2009-12-05T08:14:00.000-08:00

Ok so I really feel like sharing my favorite band with you all...so is so awesome and I love her. (and I heard a rumor that she may be pagan....however that is just a rumor that I picked up some where and I can't find any info to back it, so it's most likly not true)

you should really watch this vid its my favorite, but I can't embed it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpLXQorSQe8

and this one too...I love these songs so much!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nxO-yPQesA

Holy Hell

2009-12-02T12:19:00.000-08:00

In the normal world $287.39 could of been a new wardrobe, designer clothing, computer, cell phone, ps3, or about three months of spending money for food and such...

However because I am a college student
$287.39 = 11 texts books for THREE classes.
6 of which where under ten dollars, and ten where used...Holy Hell

well I now have copies of...

The Bhagavad Gita (a classic of indian spirituality)
The Dhammapada (another classic of indian spirituality)
The Holy Bible
The Koran
The Upanishads (yet another classic of indian spirituality)
Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching
Confucius: The Analects

All of which are for my sacred texts of the world class...which should be pretty interesting.

Anyways I find it kinda depressing specially when I only got $40 from buy backs this quarter...damn textbooks

"My boy builds Coffins" Tee-Shirt

2009-12-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

A tee-shirt design I made inspired by a song by one of my favorite bands, Florence and the Machine, called "My boy builds coffins." Turned out more halloweeny then I wanted it too, I think if I do this design again I need to do something other then orange and pink in the middle.

...wow cali

2009-11-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

Ok first I am not even going to really go into the issue of what some people are trying to put on the ballot in California, if you want to find out follow this link: http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/nov/30/campaign-starts-california-ban-divorce/news-breaking/ however what I do want to talk about is the underling issues behind this and other marriage and law issues, such as same sex marriage.

I believe full heartily that it is constitutionally illegal for the united states to endorse ANY form of "marriage" because it is a violation of church and state. I believe that marriage is an established religious union and claim. In all technicalities many christian groups supposedly are not allowed to recognize anyone as married if they where not married within their church (such as catholics, a catholic could not divorce and then remarry in the catholic church, the said divorced catholic can get remarried but it would be a ceremony not within Catholicism and would not be recognized by the church and would basically result in the person not being able to be catholic anymore). Despite that marriage is something that is common in many different religions, to put laws on marriage, such as banning same sex, polygamy, and other such ideas, is a establishment of church within the state, because these things are acceptable in some religions, however are not acceptable is the majority of christian religions. So god damn it, everyone should legally be considered as a civil union....a joining of assets and property...and get "married" within their church and religion. This would allow churches to reserve the right to marry people according to their own belief systems and recognize their own practitioners as being married, and they can say be damned everyone else (because in their eyes no one else is really married right?). I will have a civil union agreement with my boyfriend, or whoever I end up wanting to spend the rest of my life with, and then will be hand fasted, so he will be my husband.

That is my rant, not sure if anyone can follow, anyways.

What I believe....

2009-11-23T11:38:00.000-08:00

It’s been quite a while since I have addressed the question of, "What do I believe?" I think that it really is one of those things that you have to sit down and think about every once and a while, because your perception of the world is changing every moment you live. So I am going to make a list of what I, in this moment, believe.

I believe in the power and presence of the All, or Divine, which is fathomless, and from which can be drawn the Gods and Goddesses.
I believe in Divine Balance, in the presence of both male and female in all things.
I believe in the worship of the God and the Goddess by their infinite names.
I believe that all life is a direct reflection of the Divine, and therefore all living things are connected and part of each other.
I believe that all living things exist for the purpose of promoting the continuation of all life.
I believe that all humans are responsible for the care of the earth.
I believe that we must give thanks to those who came before, for without them we would not be.
I believe that we must give thanks to those which provide us substance, for they are of the Divine, and therefore a part of us.
I believe that we must treat our bodies with the same respect we would give the gods, for the gods are within us.
I believe that we must respect all life, for all life houses the gods.
I believe that we have the powers to control our own fate, and are responsible to use that power to benefit us and those around us.
I believe that we are created directly by the chooses that we make, that there is no chance, and we are the only ones who can truly effect who we become.
I believe that the act of creating is magick and the most Divine way of worship, because it is a reflection of us as the gods.
I believe that the most powerful act of magick is sex, for it is the only one that can create life.

So far thats what I come us with, we will see if I can come up with anything else.

Huge Fashion Post

2009-11-08T10:08:00.000-08:00

So First I would like to say Happy Samhain, quite a few days late. I hope you had a wonderful time, I kinda did. Did a small ritual and went to my first college party, though it turned out to be pretty lame. Other then that I didn't do much. So anyways these are some Fashion findings that I have been sitting on waiting to post about for quite some time, so I decided to just do it. So here you go.

waiting for winter

By Juliet P

rice has more genes than the human being
By Maren

snow

By Suvi K.

Simple et chic pour l'automne

By Rachel I.

"Windswept on Tybee" Shopping Guide

2009-10-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

http://shop.guess.com/ProductDetails.aspx?style=W93627Z47R0&category3894=&image=W93627Z47R0-JBLK

http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=btms%5Fleggings&product%5Fid=2066381604&Page=all

http://needsupply.com/womens/shawl-sweater-coat.html

http://needsupply.com/womens/shoes/melissa-riding-boot.html

And I don't remember where I found the dress...

Anyways this is my shopping guide for "windswept on tybee" a little more money then what she said that she spent, but I had fun putting this together. So here you go :D

~Peace

"windswept on tybee" by Rockie N.

2009-10-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

http://lookbook.nu/look/268067-windswept-on-tybee

Unfortunately I cannot get a picture, but here is the link you really should check this out I love it.

I really love the use of Neutral colors, but warm neutral colors, and that she says most of the cloths that she was wearing where thrifted, that just makes it supper cool.

And I am also crazy jealous of this girl because she takes amazing photographs, has awesome cloths and is insanely pretty and she is my age.

Check out here Website:

http://www.rockienolan.com/

I Like This Pic :D

2009-10-19T13:52:00.000-07:00

October

2009-10-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

I happen to love October. And for the first time this weekend it really did feel like October. (In my part of the world the very beginning of October had record highs, that very quickly turned to record lows, so it was almost like we had skipped a season, but this weekend the weather temp wise was mild and it just had that all around fall feeling) I went home for the weekend, with my roommate. It was really fun. Saturday morning we got up really early and went apple picking with my parents. We got so many apples, we filled the back of my parents mini-van, plus the back my dad's co-worker's truck, who we had gone with. It was a lot of fun. We also went to the Corn maze, my roommate was very funny because she had never gone to anything like that before, and every time a "scarer" would pop out she would scream lol. It was cute. We also went on the hay ride and picked out a couple of pumpkins to take back home with us. On Sunday we made apple cider, with my family's apple press. We have never made so much juice at once, it was amazing. Like 15+ gallons of the most amazing apple juice you will ever have. It was awesome.

Anyways it got me thinking about the fact that I want to do this with my kids someday. I really want to give my kids the run around out side, pick fresh apples/produce, and eat it kinda childhood. I don't want to have a TV and I want my kids to be like the essence of hippy children (except for the kinda weird stuff like sleeping in one bed and breast feeding until they are five kinda strange stuff). My dad thinks I am a little bit crazy, at least about growing apples because of the amount of work that it involved with taking care of apple trees and so one, but so far I really want to do it, so we will see. I think that doing that is like the ultimate worship to the earth mother, and it would be amazing to have like an apple ritual where you prepare the apples that you grew for storage in the winter (i.e. apple juice, pre-made pie filling, canned apples (can you can apples like pears?), apple sauce, ect.). I just think it would be totally awesome. lol.

Another thing that I have been thinking about is really the seasons and the elements that we attach to them. When I was first discovering wicca and paganism, I kidna attracted my own meanings to the seasons, based on what I knew and felt. However when I started having a teacher and later joined a coven, I was told that Air=Spring, Fire=Summer, Water=Fall, Earth=Winter. But that then felt completely wrong, and it still does. Now that I am back to following a solitary practice, and that I feel that I have moved away from any form of wicca that I know (I know I still hold alot of the wiccan teachings that I know as main influences on my practice, how I practice I think has moved away from "normal" wicca alot, thats why I say it) I think that I shouldn't try to conform my thoughts about what season the elements are most attached to, so here is my own thoughts and why:

Air = Fall, here, especially where I live now, wind is the main weather element in the fall, it's always windy. Plus when I think of fall I think of blowing leaves and yellows and oranges, more wind colors then water. (I also connect air to the type of envorment that I live in, a desert steppe, wind blown hills with tumble weeds common)

Water = Winter, water is really the only thing that we see, every where in the form of snow. It covers everything. What other time of the year do we walk on water, does water cover the trees and the plants and our homes for any extended period of time? Plus the colors of winter are more blues and whites, water colors.

Earth = Spring, this is when the earth starts to bloom, the plans begin to grow and the earth gives birth. Everything is just so green and growing. Greens and Yellows.

Fire = Summer, I think this is the only one that was the same, because summer is just so damn hot, the sun is all that most people think about during the summer, and even the symbol of the sun creeps into everything from adds to tattoos that people get during the summer lol. And as I said before here it is just so damn hot. And you really do think that everything is going to be on fire, and here it is the season where forest fires and brush fires happen on a daily biases.

So so far that is was I am thinking about when I think of the seasons and their elemental representations. However this presents a whole slew of new problems that I need to work out, because I do understand why the elements are organised in the way that they are in the other system...but I think this will be a long post for some other time, this is just the first post about this out of most likely many. Anyways.

I also cast my first circle in my dorm room today. It was extremely interesting because it wasn't like anything I was think of when I had first planning to do a ritual today. At first I was worried that I wasn't going to be able to feel anything hardly at all, but when I lay down to do a little meditation it went crazy. I was looking at the ceiling, which has this stuff on it that makes it textured, and all of a sudden I realized that I was watching the ceiling move, and no I hadn't taken any drugs or anything. I was watching and seeing these waves of yellow wash over the ceiling. I felt this very strong urge to reach out and pull it down to me, and I did and it felt like I was pulling down the sky because It was so difficult and I could only move slowly and couldn't push it back up. I had to draw it down into me. It was strange but awesome. Now I am wondering about the yellow I was seeing, if it was just because of having my eyes so unfocused or if I was seeing energy or maybe even an aura, which I don't think I have ever seen before. And if I was, was I seeing mine? Anyways it was strange.

So I think I am blogged out for the time being.
~Peace

Horns of Gold, Horns of Red: The God as a Sacred Focus

2009-10-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

I really encourage all of you to read this article on witchvox. Horns of Gold, Horns of Red: the God as a Sacred Focus Its been a while since I have read an article on witchvox that I found as awesome as this...so here you go.
~Peace

...

2009-10-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

...so I think I am getting a little bit depressed. I have a really hard time moving out of my comfort zone and making friends...if some one talks to me then its great. But so far other then my roommate and a few of her friends and my best friend from highschool, I haven't made any friends yet. Everyone has a group that they belong to, music, theater, athletics, whatever...and I really don't. So I am getting kinda lonely and feel really awkward. Grrrr.

Sorry this is just a little bit of bitching and moaning on my part. I know I need to put myself out there more or something.

Fall Fashion: "Buffalo Soldier" by Frii

2009-09-28T11:59:00.001-07:00

*Look posted on lookbook.nu by Frii. See her blog here: http://cloudbusted.blogspot.com/ though be warned that it's not all in English*

This morning I woke up to rather cold weather, and the realization that fall is truly upon us. I love where I live because almost exactly after Mabon is when the leaves start turning colors. Anyways this got me thinking about fall fashion. A cruse threw Lookbook.nu and I came upon this look, as I stated before, posted by Frii. One of my first ideas about what my fall wardrobe would be like really started this summer. For a long time I was the very essence of a goth teenager. I have moved away from that, but every once and a while I get this urge to dress in all black. And really I think that this year my fall and winter wardrobe will have a lot more black in it then in the past.

I really love this outfit, mainly because of the various layers and the shades of black and grey. I think that a lot of people forget that there are so many shades that they can play with and see black and grey as being flat and boring. But the dark black of her leggings and sleeves, with the grey of her tunic and vest/sweater thing. I also like the different textures, the knitted tunic and the fur vest.

Also flat boots are awesome, though I have yet to find a reasonably priced pair that I have to have.

Sunday Project: cushions

2009-09-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

Today was a rather productive day. I spent Saturday back in my home town with my boyfriend, and he took me home rather early this morning, because he had plans with his brother. And my roommate is gone for the day along with my best friend and most of the other people I know here. So I found myself having time to myself...wow. Did my home work, cleaned my room, went to the gym for a long time, and did a Sunday project.

In my room we have rather hard wooden chairs and their aren't bad, unless your like me and want to spend quite the chunk out of the day sitting in front of your computer. So i decided that I needed a cushion for my chair, and I would make one for my roommate as well. (it was really cute...I went to open the curtains in our room and I saw this sheet, kinda a "get to know me sheet" with a bunch of questions about here and where it said "I love..." She had written "My roommate and her friends." So I was tickled pink and set out to do something nice for her...hence she got a cushion too lol)

They where really a pain in the ass to make, mainly because I was being stupid about somethings, like mine I tried to stuff it from the side. Didn't work so well. Anyways here you go, my Sunday Project.

Not the best picture but I think you get the point.

In other news: I have been fighting a cold since classes started, but I think that I am getting over it now. I would not have survived if it hadn't been for Halls Cough Drops, so I made it. I also have decided to drop my dance aerobics class, it was just at a really bad time and I am not motivated to get up and go to class at seven at night when there are other social activities I could be doing. Anyways, hope everything is well.

Peace.

Blog Award

2009-09-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks so much to Jupiter for nominating me for this award, and if you haven't read her blog you really do need to, she is awesome.

1.) Thank the person who gave this to you.

2.) Copy the logo and place it in your blog.

3.) Link the person who nominated you.

4.) Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.

5.) Nominate seven 'Kreativ Bloggers.'

6.) Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.

7.) Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them.

Seven things you don't know about me:

1) When I was very little, at the house I lived in there was a lavender bush outside the door. And when we would play games, I would pretend to be a witch and strip of the flowers and crushing them, because they where the "magic sleeping flowers".

2) I can still remember telling the neighbor boy that I was going to marry him when I was in kinder garden. When ever I see him, that's what I think about, and I always laugh...so I think that he thinks that I am crazy now.

3) I was date raped at the age of 16 by a man who was 21 and lead to believe that it was my fault, so I stayed with him, until he left me saying I was cheating on him. To this day I still have a hard time trusting men, or liking sex, even though my boyfriend is wonderful.

4) In the back of my mind I am threatened by very pretty model type girls. I can't help but wish that I looked like that, even though I know that I am pretty, and in many cases much more talented then any of them.

5) I was so scared I cried every night for four days before I left for college. I haven't cried once since i have been here, I love it so much.

6) I have a hard time being satisfied with the things I do or make.

7) I love to eat frozen gummy bears

I nominate:

Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom because she is down right awesome

Lets see if this works I really enjoy reading her blog

Pink and green Mama I think her blog header picture is the coolest ever

Sit in for a Spell w/Suntiger one of my first and best followers

The Witch I Want to Be I love her connection with nature

To Dance with the Spirit If only he would blog more grrrr....

My Song He is just awesome

Dorm Room Protection Spell

2009-09-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

Well I figured that it may be a good thing to make a dorm room protection spell, just to put a little bit of energy into my room and my space. What I decided to do is a bind rune, or a series of runes made into one rune so that they have all the effects of the runes placed in the bind rune. The walls of my dorm room are brick, and it is tradition for students to write and draw on their bricks with chalk, because it's kinda hard to put posters up on brick walls. So a drew my bind rune on the bricks next to the door, which is on my half of the room.

In my bind rune there are:

THORN: Protection and defense

TYR: Defense, Movements, Courage

HAEGAL: Defense

JERA: New Home, Bringing Rewards

ODAL: Bringing Prosperity into the Home, Finding fortunate influences to affect the Home

ALGIZ: Protection, Defense, Luck

So I would, and was planning on posting a picture, but my camera is out of batteries, so it will have to wait.

I start classes tomorrow!

College Life

2009-09-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well I am starting to get into the flow here at college. My dorm room is very nice, a long shared desk on the...well I am going to guess at this point is the northeastern wall. Beds and Dressers on the opposit side, so there is a lot of floor space. All my junk fit, which is awesome saying that I have room to spare.

Other big news is that my boy friend is home, and I got to see him for the first time in nine and a half months today. We only got an hour and a half together though, because he was driving back to where we used to live, where is family is, from seattle and stopped to see me on the way. He will be back tomorrow so I am very excited.

Things are going well with my roommate as well. She is a Japanese exchange student. Her english is better then I was expecting. So thats good. We have been hanging out with the group of japanese stundents in my dorm. There are ten living in my dorm. They are all very nice and so far I have been able to remember about half of their names. It's been really fun.

Well I was going to write more, but the post I was going to do will wait for when I am not so tired.
Peace

COLLEGE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

I AM OFFICIALLY GOING TO BE AT COLLEGE TOMORROW. All I have left to do is pack the rest of my crap up and, sleep, something that I haven't been Able to do for a few days. I am very excited.
On top of all this, my BOYFRIEND IS COMING HOME ON SATURDAY!!!! I haven't seen him since January 5th, so I am very excited about that too. Thought him coming on my first week end of college is a little bit stressful, because I am not in the same city anymore. But we will work everything out, even with him mom throwing up obstacles. Anyways, I am very excited. I ended up only getting like three things done on that list that I made, but oh well, to late now. :D

Cape Flattery

2009-09-07T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today we hiked out to Cape Flattery

Ends of the Earth

2009-09-06T17:36:00.001-07:00

For years my best friend Kieran Isaiah and I have been planning on going on some big adventure before we went away for college. And I mean years, I think we started dreaming this trip when we were either in freshmen or sophomore year of high school. So bright and early yesterday morning Kieran Isaiah and I went off on our end of summer, we are awesome adults, road trip. (Though for the first weekend, my parents and the rest of my family are here too, but we are staying longer lol) 7 am we go in the car and drove the furthest either one of us had ever driven on our own. We drove to Seattle, took the ferry to Bainbridge and drove a total of 8 hours to my Aunt C's house. Now my Aunt C's house is in one of my favorite places on earth. She lives outside of Neah Bay, WA, on the Makah National Fish Hatchery, which is like ten miles from the most north western point in the continental united states. Well we ended up not doing a whole lot yesterday after we got to my aunt's house other then eating an amazing salmon dinner, and attempting to roast marshmallows, though we where soon driven in by the rain.

We woke up to more rain, though it was very nice to be able to lay in bed and listen to the rain on the roof. My Aunt made us waffles, and we went to church with my family, though we almost didn't make it in time because it's almost an hour drive from my aunt's house to the church. After church my parents decided that we should go to Forks, because we where over half way there and so our German Exchange student could get pictures with the "Welcome to Forks" to email back home to all the girls in his school in Germany (I guess twilight is just as big there as it is here). This was not the first time that I had been to forks, but it was the first time since the twilight books have become big.

Ok let me put a little disclosure here, I am not a big twilight fan. I have read all the books, I do not think that they are any better than most cheap romance novels, and I do not think that the author has any particular good writing skills. I have also seen the movie, and was even less impressed mainly because I knew where everything (scenery wise) really was, and where everything should have been, so I was disappointed so see things that were in Oregon played off as if they were in Washington. But I guess most people wouldn't know the difference.

Anyways, I am so disappointed in myself. I thoroughly enjoyed going to forks and seeing all the twilight themed crap. I even went in to the store called "Dazzled by Twilight" and bought something, though not for me. It was pretty funny though. But I am not going to go to the "Twilight Fest" which will start the day that Kieran Isaiah and I head back to the dryer side of the state. Well my family, Kieran Isaiah and I had lunch in Forks before we headed back to my Aunts house.

Kieran Isaiah and I made one last stop on the way back, at the beach near my Aunt's house. We where almost at the far side of the beach when it starting pouring again. We made it back to my Aunts house, but we where soaking wet.

Tomorrow we are planning on heading out to Cape Flattery, the furthest northwestern point in the united states. I hope to also to do a circle out on the beach. Other then that we do not know what we are going to do.

Hope your Labor Day weekend was full of fun

Peace

Oh and here is a video of our drive between forks and neah bay.

Things Still Left to make for College

2009-09-04T09:06:00.001-07:00

I still have quite a bit of work cut out for me when it comes to getting ready for college. Doesn't help that I am taking off for a week so I won't have access to my sewing machine, but I think that I will be able to manage. I will be able to work on my knitting projects while I am on my vacation so that should be fine.

Dark Green Gloves (Knitting Project): I posted a picture of the gloves I started on one of my Sunday project posts, but unfortunately I have not worked on them since then.
Belt (Knitting project): Something that I started in the summer, and haven't worked on since the fourth of July.
Knitted case for my laptop: Haven't even started that yet
Low V neck sweater (up-cycling): Should be really easy to get done, so I think that I might tackle that today.
Making all my jeans skinnier (up-cycling): The skinnier the jeans the better, should be easy.
Zipper sweater (up-cycling): Inspired by this look, http://lookbook.nu/look/232438-the-stars-fell-out-of-the-sky, though I will only do this if I have money left over from my week trip, because I haven't bought anything for it.
Picture boards (décor): Well because my walls in my dorm room are brick I am going to mount pictures on wood and put a pour on finish over them, and prop them up in the dorm room. I have the pictures all ready but I need to cut the boards, spray paint and put the finish on, so I think this needs to be the first project I do when I get back home.
Gifts for my roommate: I think that I am going to make her a bowl out of a record, a book and maybe something else other then the bracelet that I already made her. So we will see, maybe I will give her the gloves that I am making.

There were a couple of other things that I wanted to do before I went to school, but I am going to be somewhat realistic about those, because there is no way I am going to be able to take on a major sewing project, like making a pea coat, before I leave, even if I dropped all the rest of the stuff up there. And I just don't have the money for it right now so it really doesn't even matter. Anyways, I will post pictures as I complete these projects

Good News, and some bad news

2009-09-03T15:58:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend injured his hand a while back. At first they thought it was a sprain, but when it didn't heal, they started to suspect that it was something more. So they found out that he has nerve damage, and will need surgery to hopefully correct the damage. Well the good news about this whole situation is that they have delayed his surgery to a point where he will not be deploying to Afghanistan in November. I am really happy that he won’t be deploying, however he hasn't been home for 9 months, and because he isn't deploying he won’t get to go on pre-deployment leave with the rest of his platoon. And we will have to wait for his leave to get approved, most likely not till after his surgery, gods know when thats going to happen.

The Blog Formerly Known As "Following a Wondering Path"

2009-09-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

First step for my update, will be the name change. It is now A Lion, the Witch and Her Wardrobe.

Mabon or September Full Moon Ritual

2009-09-02T07:05:00.000-07:00

Just a ritual idea that I had last night when I went to bed, ended up that the only way I could get to sleep was for me to do it in my head, So here it is. It can be done as a solitary ritual, but I am going to write it as if there where four + people doing the ritual.

PEOPLE:
High Priestess
Woman playing Demeter, dressed in white or gold, with a crown of wheat
Woman playing Kore/Persephone, dressed in white, with a crown of flowers
Man playing Hades, Dressed all a black cloak, with face hidden beneath the hood of his cloak

EXTRA ITEMS:
Fire pit
second black cloak, hidden under Hades cloak
Black crown of some sort, hidden under Hades cloak
Sheaf of Wheat
Sharp knife or needle

Cast circle, with the Women playing Demeter and Kore/Persephone standing in the east, and Hades standing in the west.

Call Quarters. Draw down the goddess and god especial into the bodies of those who will be role playing.

High Priestess: "Hail to the gods of old, on this turning point of the year, as darkness over powers light. We are here to give thanks and say good buy to the gods of spring and growth, and welcome the gods of winter and death. We honor the grieving Demeter, as she draws back her favors from the earth, and her daughter, Kore, Maiden of spring, returns to her Husband in Hades."

Dramatic Scene plays out between Demeter and Kore, as Demeter tries to hold on to her daughter, clearly grieving, but Kore leaves her mother.

Drum or some other kind of music plays as Kore dances counter clockwise around the circle three times. Everyone visualizes the goddess descending into the earth.

As she dances HP says: "The wheel turns once more, Darkness will be with us ever more."

On the third time around, Kore stops in front of Hades, how holds out his hand, and Kore takes it. The music stops. Hades takes her crown of flowers and throws it into the fire, and put the black cloak over Kore, crowning her with the black crown.

HP, turning her back on Demeter, and keeling before Persephone and hades, if there is anyone else in the circle they kneel too. HP: "Hail to Persephone, queen of the underworld, wife of Hades. You are the goddess of mystery. Welcome dark side of the year, the time of renewal. Hail and welcome."

HP stands and walks over to the alter, picking up the sheaf of wheat. Turning to Demeter, hold the Sheaf of wheat high over the fire. HP: "Hail to Demeter, bringer of life and growth. We thank you for the plants and the harvest that are your gifts, and will sustain us, until your favor is returned to the earth. We thank you for the blessings you have bestowed, and Honor you in your time of grief. Hail to Demeter." Throw the wheat into the fire, as a offering to Demeter, watch it burn and think about all the things that you have been given during the light half of the year.

HP, takes up the sharp knife or needle, and turns towards Hades and Persephone. HP: "Hail to Hades and Persephone, rulers of the underworld, and the mysteries of death. We thank you for your renewing darkness and death, for we know, with life there must be death, and with darkness, light." HP pricks finger drawing a little bit of blood. "We Honor you, in your time of growing strength. Hail, Hades and Persephone." Drop a few drops of blood into the fire as a offering to Hades and Persephone and think about what the dark half of the year will hold for you, and how your life will benefit from this time of renewal.

Chant: "The wheel turns once more, darkness returns ever more." visualize the earth turning, the seasons turning, and darkness growing in strength.

Time for divination and/or spell work.

Thank Hades and Persephone, Thank Demeter. Thank the elements, close the circle. Feast!

New blog title comming soon

2009-09-01T22:01:00.000-07:00

I am going to do a major overhaul of my blog pretty soon. New title, new look, new profile. So we will see how things go from there :D

Just a little project I did. Inspired by those little wish bracelets that I used to get as a kid, I made these two bracelets today. In the days coming to to the full moon on Friday, I keep getting these ergs to create little spells and make things. So the brown one, has the elements called into it, though in a subtle way. Beads for the elements mixed in with the rest of the beads. I think the black one is going to be one of the tings that I give to my roommate.

I am hoping to get a chance to do a small ritual on the full moon. I am really looking forward to the full moon. I love fall, and I always see the September full moon as really the start of fall. I very strong time for reflection and divination. This is the time when Demeter starts to draw back from the earth as she begins to grieve for Kore, who will return to the underworld and once again become Persephone. It is a time to honor Demeter for all that she has given us, and to honor Persephone and Hades, for with life there must also be death.

Oh and I think I forgot to write about the ritual I did on Saturday :D I did a small unplanned ritual out in my back yard. And I must say, I was so brave, I did it sky clad!!! lol, its not as bad as I thought, I was just nervous. lol. My back yard is very private, but you can hear the out side world. But then you get in ritual and you forget about it. It was awesome. Read some tarot, sounds like I am going to have a good year, and 4 of wands = good relationship with my room mate. However seven of swords suggest that I may be to worried about not being about to take everything in and missing out on things. And a reversed queen on pentacles suggest that I will be so nervous about that I will loose all motivation and ignore all my responsibilities. But I think that it is good, to have a little a forewarning, I will be able to watch out for the warning signs, and I know that it sounds like something that I would do. So I am very pleased, and still think that this year is going to be amazing.

Friday is the first high school foot ball game, my old high school vs. our rivals (or their rivals I guess lol) and my sister is playing in the half time show, in marching band. So I think that I will go to that as well. And Saturday is the start of my best friend and I's week vacation/spiritual retreat to the most northwestern regions of Washington. So I have some very busy days ahead of me, but I am looking forward to it.

Anyways, not sure when the overhaul is going to happen, but soon, just giving you all a heads up.

Peace

judgment

2009-08-31T13:09:00.000-07:00

One of the things that I love about paganism, is that I am not religiously obligated to judge anyone. I have a pretty strong live and let live view point on life. And this has led me to make some pretty interesting friends, with colorful pasts, thought all of them are very nice people.

Any up until a few weeks ago I never really questioned my non-judgment. That is until one of the girls I work with started to ask for money. Not large amounts, like ten or twenty dollars, and it's only been one or twice, and she has always paid me back and I have the money to lend to her. My problem with this is, she is an alcoholic, and she will be the first person to tell you that. And though she is doing a lot better then she was, she goes out every Friday and gets drunk at a bar. And then come Monday to Tuesday, she will need money for gas. And I am sure that is what she is using the money I lend her for, but if she didn't go spend forty dollars at the bar very Friday she wouldn't need to ask me.

I have known her for a long time, long enough to see quite a bit of progress when it comes to her drinking, but I am still uncomfortable lending her anymore money. But I feel like I am judging her, which I try very hard not to do.

...ick

Building Excitment

2009-08-28T20:37:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to go to college. It's coming down to the last few weeks before I leave. I quite my job on Monday, a job I have had for almost two years. I think that I am going to try not to have a job at school, at least not at first. But I am a little nervous about that though, because I have come so accustomed to having a income. But then again, I don't spend much money on anything other then food, and I am paying for that in my tuition.
My room mate and I have been emailing periodically over the last few weeks. She seams very nice, though her English is not very good, at least her writing is not very good (she is from japan) so I hope that wont be an issue. She asked me what I wanted from japan, and I asked her what she wanted from the united states, and she replied that she wanted something that i made. Well I think we will get along well.
I will be leaving for a vacation with my best friend next week end, and I am looking forward to it.
I also made some amazing finds at the goodwill and salvation army, a very nice double breasted navy blue rampage blazer, and a very nice black sweater, both in like new condition. I had an outfit idea that I was looking for, and so far it's going well. I am just going to update the sweater, get rid of the turtle neck, giving it a very deep v neck. I am also working on making a blazer, but out of a grey sweat shirt material. But so far it's been kinda frustrating, cause I ran out of interfacing, and it turned out that I fused interfacing on the wrong side of the fabric. So it means a run to Jo-Anne's tomorrow after work.

Full moon is next Friday, I really need a ritual, something to ground myself, and get rid of some of my nervous energy. I just really want to go lay out in the grass, but haven't gotten a chance to yet.

Anyways, that about all I have for today.

Covens Rule!

2009-08-24T10:19:00.001-07:00

BLOG POST 100!!!!

Well due to the recent develop of the Children of Gaea Coven, I have been thinking a lot about, well, covens. I think that a lot of people, or well I don't know if I should say that, but I know that I have always had this image of a big awesome coven, that lasts for generations. I would love to be able to set up a coven (well help set up a coven) latter on into my adult life. We would practice, have wonderful rituals, and pass our tradition down to our kids and then their kids, and we will take over the world muwhahah!!!!! No but seriously, it's one of those things that when I am laying in bed trying to fall asleep that I will think about.

But then, I really start thinking about it, and I never get to sleep. Mainly for one reason. (Side track but makes sense in my mind) As the Drill team commander and the Battalion Commander for my high schools JROTC, I learned a few things about leadership, or at least I hope I did. One of those is that there has to be proper structure within a unit, or well anything, there has to be some form of command structure. Without it there is chaos, or someone will step up and become the leader from within the ranks. So if I want to set up an organized coven, I would figure that this would be the same. (Keep in mind everything I describe is my fantasy coven that I have created in the folds of my imagination, just ponderings and have nothing to do with any coven anywhere, and may never have anything to do with any coven ever) Elders, Active Initiates, Initiates, seekers, and children, in about that order. Elders being founding members and active initiates, who have been practicing with the coven for, say 5 years. Active initiates are members who practice with the coven actively; say they go to at least one ritual a month, and because they are involved they can plan rituals, vote on how money is spent, and other things like that. Initiates are people who are not active, say they only go to Sabbaths, but still participate on a limited bases. They can still help with planning and take roles like high priest or priestess, but don't control finances. Seekers are people who have been approved by a majority vote of initiates and have an active initiate sponsor, who helps them through their year and a day. For a seeker to go become an initiate they must complete a year and a day training, attend at least one ritual and one meeting with their sponsor every month, and be reviewed by the elders, who will determine if the seeker can be initiated. And last but not least children. I do think that children should play a role in the coven, but I don't feel that they should become initiates unless they are 18 or older, so you have to be 17 to be a seeker, and anyone who is younger may participate at some rituals, like Sabbaths, only if their parents are initiated members.

I do feel strongly about coven secrecy, that all rituals, magick and who are members should be kept secret. I believe that vows of silence are important for mystery traditions.

So that is my hypothetical set up to my imaginary coven in the sky. Lol, just thought I would share.

Hope you have a good Monday.

~Aeshe

Today's Awesome Playlist:

Wendy Beckerman – Miss Lucy

Polly Scattergood – Bunny Club

Kathryn Williams – Spit on a Stranger

Alela Diane – Oh! My Mama

Sharron Kraus – Twins

Emily Jane White – Dagger

Marissa Nadler – Fifty Five Falls

Lazy Sunday

2009-08-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

Well today has been a lazy day, I try to do or complete a project every Sunday, but today, my only project that I was working on was a pair or fingerless gloves I was knitting. It would have been a pretty tall order for me to complete them today.

Today also is my first day of my last full week of work. I have worked at KFC for the last two years, not a glamorous job, but a good one. And a week from tomorrow I wont be working there anymore. I am very excited to be going to college! I am going on vacation with my best friend for a week soon as well. Anyways.

My only other piece of news is that my family is hosting a German Exchange student this year. He is very nice, and so far things have been going well. We are hosting him for a whole year, a lot longer then the last girl we hosted who was only here for a month.

I am going to try to fall into a schedule as far as postings go, now that I wont be working. I think every Sunday I will post my Sunday project, Mondays, blog about my latest ritual or pondering about paganism, and Thursdays or Fridays, my misadventures of being a freshman in college. So we will see how that goes, and how long it lasts :D anyways...I am very tired I need my beauty sleep

~AEshe

Make a Mistake

2009-07-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

I had a very interesting question posed to me by one of my best friends. He asked me, "Do you think god, or the higher power, can make a mistake?"

Now, personally, I had to think about this question for a while. Because for me the Divine really takes two different forms. There are the gods, the multitudes in which they exist, all with there own various quirks. But then there is the All, which I believe is Life. Life=God more or less, so everything that is alive is a part of god/all/Divine, and has a part of that Divine energy. I see the gods and there personalities as being our way to draw connection to life and to explain our own existence. But I have the firm belief that they exists because we believe in them, not in-spite of.

Well because I believe the highest power that exists is life, pure and simple, I told him that I believe the concept of a "mistake" is a human concept that requires active thought. I do not believe that life has active thought, or that it's only thought is what is required to survive. I believe that the meaning of life is to simply live. And it also comes down to my belief in the Gaea Theory, and that even within our own bodies our organs and even are cells are not concerned with surviving as a whole, only with surviving on the individual level. Yet in the process of surviving as individuals they must survive as a whole. And I think that the earth and everything on it is exactly the same. So I guess what I am trying to say is that god/the all/the Divine, is not capable of making a mistake, only following the course that will lead to survival.

And this brought up his next question. "Do you believe in a creative power then, did something create us."

Yet again a rather difficult question to answer. I do believe in a creative power, I think that is evident in our own need to create things around us. Even animals need to create things. But I also believe in evolution, I do not believe that we are as we have always been. I think Life created us once again out of need for survival. I do believe that all life started from a single point, and life, like electricity, takes the path of lease resistance. Life on this planet has moved and developed in ways that, for the most part, have established a life promoting pattern. We have evolved to allow life on the planet to continue. Survival is the only thing that truly matters.

My friend told me that it was very interesting but almost sad, that there is nothing more then surviving.

I really do think that a lot of people need there to be something more then that, at least in there heads they do. They need to feel like they are part of some bigger plan. But what bigger plan is there then the life of our earth, our sky, our water and everything that lives in it?

First Item for Sale On ETSY

2009-07-25T13:36:00.001-07:00

Aeshe.Etsy.Com is my new awesome shop!!!
Just needed to be announced lol.

Been a long time

2009-07-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

I have been meaning to write this post forever, but only now have gotten around to it.
So I have a lot of news :D

Let me start with the week I spent at the beach. Every year for the forth of july my huge family gets together on the Oregon coast and spends a week in one big house...its really fun even if you get sick of sleeping on the floor. Anyways, one of the big things that we do is that we go swimming every day, it's so nice. We all have wet suits so we can go out into the very cold pacific ocean and go swimming. It is very refreshing. And a couple of my cousins and i went to this place called Indian beach, that I would have to say is one of the prettiest places ever. (If you have seen the twilight movie, the beach where they go surfing is Indian beach, not la push) Anyways it was very spiritually refreshing, connecting with the earth and the ocean, so I feel really good about it :D.

Second piece of big news is that I went to my college orientation on Thursday and Friday. IT WAS SO AWESOME I WANT TO MOVE IN TOMORROW!!! I am not even kidding. The orientation part was really long and you got talked at a lot about the same things over and over, but they had a comedian from comedy central come and do a show and I got to stay in the dorms. And find out my roommate, who is a girl from Japan, and register for classes. I have a full course load, 15 credits, and I am taking:
Monday - Friday: Intro to Non-Western Art 9am
Monday - Friday: Intro to Logic 10am
Tuesday and Thursday: costume technology (I get to make costumes for the theater productions :D) 11am - 1pm
Wednesday: University 101 (rec for all freshmen) 11am
Tuesday and Thursday: Dance aerobics 7pm
And the most exciting news of all is that they have the major/minor that I want, and they are brand new major/minor, only like the second year that they have been offered!!! So I don't have to go to another school. I can Major in Fashion Merchandising and Minor in Apparel Design. I am really excited and I want to leave and move in now, instead of in September.
Another awesome thing is I am not going to have as much trouble paying for it as I thought. I thought that I was going to have to put in like 5,000 of my own money into paying, but with financial aid, the waivers that I got, and my parents agreeing to pay for 3,000 I am only going to have to put in about 1,800. So I am really excited about that, even if I have been working my butt off to get my bank account from 2,000 to 7,000 since January.

That's what is going on in my life right now :D

embroidered Japanese crane that I made :D

2009-06-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

how you live your day

2009-06-27T17:02:00.001-07:00

One of the girls in my coven has this quote on her myspace headline:
"How you live your day is how you live your life."
I found that amazing, because lately I have hit a really hard spell of, well there is no other word for it but depression. I wasn't happy with my life, with how I look, the cloths I wear, the things I made or even really the rituals that I was doing. It was all kinda falling flat. Now how do I live my days: In complete and utter chaos, with no order, and not a whole lot of spontaneity either. It's chaos that is trying to be orderly and doesn't work. My room for example is all over the place messy, no divisions for anything, filled with half finished projects the remains of every aspect of my life really. Now that is my life. There are no lines drawn, everything bleeds into each other to a point where I can't separate things and focus on one thing.
So to feel better I need to think about the things that I do everyday and figure out how I can make them more satisfying and fulfilling.
So I think I need to start with cleaning my room lol.

Hopefuly soon to be fist item on etsy shop

2009-06-23T18:57:00.000-07:00

Here is what I hope to be my first listing on etsy, let me know what you think. I won't be posting it until after the 10th of july, because I wont be in town. but then I will be posting it.

"This book was made for you.
Made with recycled wallpaper and a Japanese style binding.

It contains a hand made block print and 160 pages of quality paper, perfect for writing and sketching with various mediums.

Each book is unique, you will never find one like yours.

Made By:
Æshe"

Children of Gaia

2009-06-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

Well, for some reason I keep putting this blog post off, I don't know why but I have. So I have finally said fuck it, and am writing it, right before bed, so…it might not all make sence to anyone but me, but of well.

First I would like to say that I made it. I am no longer a High School student. Graduation was June 5^th, and it was awesome. Kinda like watching a movie but it's about you, kinda experiences. I was very happy to be done with it. Second I hope it's a long time before I ever get that drunk again, and I think I will leave it at that.

Moving on to less incriminating topics. For the past few months I have been a member of a small pagan study group, that started out as one of my best friends, her mom and myself (We are going to call them Cathy (friend) and Tara (her mom), just so we don't get confused). And for a while it was just us three and it was fun, I taught them to knit and we figured out what direction that we were going to go in with the group. So after a few weeks Cathy brought her friend "Melissa" and things started getting more serious, mainly because Melissa didn't have any experience in paganism, but from conversations with Cathy thought that it should be something that she checked out. So Tara and I, who have been pagan/wiccan the longest, where teaching her the basics. Well then Tara invited her friend Rachel and we had a full moon circle, with a couple of Tara'a other friends from out of town, and that went really well. I was acting high priestess, and wasn't told that till like the night before, so for what it was it went well lol. Anyways, so we became a working group, and there where Cathy, Tara, Melissa, Rachel, and myself. (Ok so I guess for the next part of the story we have to go into some kinda incriminating information) Well for the past month or so I have been parting a bit with Cathy and some of our friends from school. And on almost ever night that we where parting, after we where pretty toasted, our friend "Amy" and I would end up the last ones awake and have some extremely deep conversations. We talked about everything, but the conversation came back to religion a lot of the time. So the night that I got so plastered I don't even what to talk about it, Amy and I where once again the last ones awake and into the conversations, so we agreed that I would pick her up and we would hang out and go to Monday study group and we would see if she liked it. Also, the night of graduation (a few nights after plastered night) we were all over at Cathy's house for the after party, (we all agreed to not drink much) and my bestest friend in the world, and the guy I had grown up in paganism with (though he became Christian again, but that's a different story) led a circle with Cathy, Amy and a few other people. So now "Jake" decided to come to Mondays group. So the Monday after graduation out group officially becomes Cathy, Tara, Melissa, Rachel, Amy, Jake, and myself. It is awesome. We are a coven now called "The Children of Gaia". And on Saturday we are holding a Summer Solstice ritual. And next Thursday, Jake, Cathy, Melissa, Amy and I are going hiking at one of my favorite places on earth and Jake wants me to re-initiate him to paganism, so I think I will post that ritual when I finish writing it. And that it basically it, at least for tonight.

Passing

2009-05-25T22:20:00.001-07:00

(This happened last week and I just got home, and so I only just got internet back, so I wrote this post, I think last sunday, so over a week ago.) My grandmother passed Friday night. So I am here at my grandparent's house for the next week, because the funeral is not until Thursday, so I was asked to stay with my mother here. It kinda nice, despite the fact that this was such as sad reason to be here, but it's nice because I love it here. It always feels so, well spiritual to be here. My grandparent's house is right on the water, so I can go down to the beach and do rituals and meditate. But one thing that I have noticed here is well, I think I have another totem animal. My first one is the moth, and I used to see them all the time, but not as much anymore. I have been seeing them more since I have been here tough. Anyways, I think my next totem animal is, well, an ant. I have seen them everywhere. I have brushed them off of me while I was in the car, while I was sitting in my grandparent's house. Everywhere I go there are ants. I thought at first that it was bad because there where ants in the house, but no one else has seen them, and I only see them when I am sitting by myself, and it is never more than one. So I am sure that I now have an ant totem animal. Of course all my books are at home, so I can't really go through and look up what it could symbolize. But I have a feeling that has a lot to do with the ant's ability to carry such heavy loads when it is so little, and its ability to build and get into anywhere, even places where they aren't really welcome. So I guess we will see how this goes. I am a little bit nervous about being here at my grandparents this week rather then at home, because its my last full week of school before graduation. I am fairly confident in my ablitlty to do my work and get everything done

Beach Ritual

2009-05-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

When we went back to my grandparents house after spending the day at the Hospital with my grandma and grandpa, I went down to the beach (my grandparents house has a beach access). I wanted to do a ritual because I hadn't gotten a chance to do anything for beltane. It was raining but I walked down the beach and found a place where I could sit and layout some rocks for the ritual. It was really calming and peaceful. I love being in places where I can't hear cars. Just the water and the wind and rain. I called the crone goddess to give me and my family peace in this difficult time, and to accept my grandmother into the cauldron of rebirth when time allows. It's pretty intense at the hospital. My grandmother has gone to almost basic, instinctive setting, like crying for her mother. It's hard, but she has been sick for so long, its almost comforting to know that she will be at rest soon and returning to the earth after so many years of suffering. I just wish that I could remember her before she was sick, back when I was little and she and my grandpa would come and visit us.

Hospital

2009-05-02T14:38:00.000-07:00

We had to make an emergency trip across the mountains, my grandmother, who has been sick for years, is on her death bed. She got pneumonia a while ago, and has been unable to recover, and basically she will keep getting it until it destroys her body. She has to be fed with a feeding tube and oxygen. My family had to make the decision though, that either she is taken off the feeding tube or the oxygen. And she is going to be taken off of the feeding tube. We don't know when we are going to coming home.
So much for a happy beltaine.

Knitting project

2009-04-28T16:02:00.000-07:00

Completed knitting project, my first knitting project that involved cables, and I survived, even though the pattern was messed up. Anyways, I love yellow.

Yellow 50's dress

2009-04-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

made with butterick pattern b4790. I really like it, and want to make another one, though I think that I would make it in a little bit less vibrent colors, lol. anyways it's been a while since I have made anything from a pattern like this, so I thought that I would share.

Continuous fighting

2009-04-21T22:27:00.001-07:00

Well, my bf and I have been fighting for since Friday. Mainly over the fact that he fails to communicate with me, and I get so frustrated with calling him and not getting an answer for hours until he finally calls me, saying that he fell asleep.

Well the reason I bring this up is in my myth and modern hero class we are discussing the hero's journey. Journey of life and death and rebirth that we must all undergo to grow or change at all. In particular we were discussing what happens to someone who refuses the "call" or the point that is the starting off point for adventure, change and growth. Well it leads to general discord, unhappiness and being bound by the ego, rather than using the ego to allow us to live freely. (it's really interesting because before this class I never really thought of myths as being that literal, but they are really) anyways my teacher illustrated this by having us watch Groundhog Day where he refuses the call to change his life and therefore gets stuck forever on the same day.

Getting back to what I was saying about my bf and I. It seriously felt that we were having the same conversation over and over (well more like heated argument then conversation) where I would get pissed, he would say something to make me happy and get me to calm down, but then the next day the same thing would happen, leading to the same argument. Well my myth and modern hero teacher has said that we will begin to notice the patterns that our life takes in comparison to the hero's journey, and it was true. This was exactly what could be considered a call refused. As soon as that clicked I could approach the situation differently, or at least kinda differently. It started like all the other arguments had, and kinda ended the same, but I discussed the fact that if he was having such a hard time sleeping normally and had to sleep sometimes it seemed like 16 hours a day, that he really needed to go talk to a dr. and not just the platoon medic. And on my part needed to set aside my want to talk to him, and at least be a little more understanding about it until he gets this resolved with the dr. My only concern was that he is leaving to do 20 days of extensive training, and if this is still a problem then, I don't know how he's going to handle this training session.

It's just really interesting to really feel the cycle happen in my life. And it connects me and my life to the earth and the need to death rebirth cycle than ever before. I took this class thinking that it would be an easy a but it has helped my life both spiritually and my everyday life.

Playlist:
Beauty – 31 knots
start today tomorrow – youth group
I want it – Zombie girl
Grave – Hungry Lucy
California dreamer – wolf parade

Determined

2009-04-16T22:06:00.000-07:00

I am determined to make this...

found at http://knitty.com/ISSUEspring05/PATTcleaves.html. I am very excited.
I think that I am going to use t-shirt yarn that make myself, but I am not quite sure yet.

I am learning quite a few things in my myth and modern hero class, it's really cool. I took it because I figured it would be easy, and it is, but I am also learning things out of it. My next task in my Coven studies is to study 6 different pagan traditions (well I need to ask if they are pagan or just wiccan) but so far I want to look into Fairie, Buddisum, Dianic, green magick (not sure if this is really a tradition or more of a path, but i will find out), strega, and teutonic.

The previous lesson which was to observe six animals that live/visit your back yard was a lot harder than I ever thought that it would be. I still only have three animals, dog, cat, and birds. I tried to identify the different types of birds but it was nearly impossible.

I have also been continuing the Thursday study groups. It has expanded to from my best friend's mom and I. Now she and my best friend and then her friend all get together once or twice a week. It's a lot of fun. we are planning a may day feast and ritual. It should be extremely fun and I am looking forward to it. I think we are going to be getting together tomorrow and I am going to teach them about magick squares and the use of symbols in spells and then put together a scroll pendant spell, one of my favorite spells ever.

Anyways other then graduating on time, that's what I have been up to

First Spring Flowers, Spring Camp Pictures, and some bad news.

2009-04-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Flowers on a tree in my back yard, I thought that they where pretty :D

These pictures are in reverse order, kinda.

I climbed this, but don't have any pictures of it :(

Well I got a rejection letter yesterday, Western Washington University. Said I was well qualified but by the time I had applied (late December) they had filled all the spots. So I guess I will be going to Central after all. All the pics above where taken at central. It should be nice, I guess. I will transfer to Cornish after I get married.

So thats the latest and greatest form me.

Three Money Saving Tips

2009-04-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

Thanks to SunTiger, this post is all about money saving. It might end up being more than three tips but we will see. And because it is now looking like spring all my tips are spring related :D

1) Composting :D

Composting is the recycling at the basics, its returning food and waste products to our mother :D. I am not sure how much money can be saved by composting, other then you will take up less room in your trash can, so maybe you wont need as many cans. (where I live our trash bill is determined by how many full cans you set out). Also you wont have to buy potting soil as often, or fertilizer, so that will save you money. And everyone is paying less because it is helping the endowment and the world. So I think it is a great money saver.

But how do you Compost?

Check out these sights:

Composting For Kids: http://sustainable.tamu.edu/slidesets/kidscompost/kid1.html

Crafty Composting (I thought that this was pretty cool): http://www.howtocompost.org/
Governmental Composting (lets put some of 'em politicians out to...compost lol): http://www.epa.gov/osw/conserve/rrr/composting/index.htm
And last an Introduction to Composting: http://vegweb.com/composting/

(those sites could probably give you better reasons then I can why composting can save you money, I was just to lazy to read all of them.)

But wait, I can't compost I live in the city.
Fucker!!! lol jk but seriously you can, with composting worms!!

check out these sites:
Worm Composting Basics: http://www.css.cornell.edu/compost/worms/basics.html
How to make your own composting worm system: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Worm-Compost-System

Composting With Red Wiggler Worms: http://www.cityfarmer.org/wormcomp61.html
More Composting with worms (this time for Kids!): http://www.dnr.state.wi.us/org/caer/ce/eek/earth/recycle/compost2.htm

And where to by these trash loving/eating worms: http://www.unclejimswormfarm.com/index.php?show_aux_page=3

2) Line drying clothes

What could be greener? Lol. I was hoping to post pictures of the clothing line that I want to install, but it didn't get installed today, so no pictures. But seriously its green and saves energy and your cloths will smell great. The only down side is, well if the weather gets bad, then to bad for the cloths. Also if there is no wind at all, I really don't like that extreme stiff feeling that your cloths get, but it goes away when you wear them for a while. I like to line dry mainly because most of my cloths are hand made and the drier is just to rough on them.

Websites to check out:
How to install your own close line: http://www.ehow.com/how_3874_install-clothesline.html

3) Herb Garden :D

This was another one that I wanted to post pictures for, because I wanted to start mine today, but realized I had no planting soil (this would not have been a problem if my family composted lol) anyways so you just get pics from the Internet. lol

First you have to start your plants. By seeds, tons cheaper then buying a plant already grown )a dollar for a variety pack of herbs). Now get an old egg carton, a box (perfect one is a ritz box cause it is the perfect size. take the lid off of the egg carton and cut the part where the eggs go in half so there are to groups 3x2 and then cut the sections between them, not so they are completely apart, but so when it is time to plant them you can just take the cartons off of each other. Now close the ritz box and lay it on it's side. Cut the box so that the largest panel can be folded up and you can see the inside. Place a recycled grocery bag on the inside of the ritz box so water wont leak. Now place the egg carton in the rits box and fill with compost from you compost pile (or if you suck like me, potting soil and so miracle grow). Plant your seeds and water, now take a second grocery bag and put it so it make like a tent over your seeds, with one side open and place in the sun. You have just made a mini green house :D Plant in a few weeks when the plants are too big for the egg cartons.

And thats my money saving tips

2009-04-03T08:59:00.001-07:00

I have been meaning to write a blog for a while, but have kept putting it off, mainly because I don't have the pictures I want to post with it yet, but oh well. Here goes nothing.

I spent five days in Ellensburg with my JROTC battalion doing leadership and physical fitness training. It was interesting, and I learned a lot. I am the battalion commander and have been in leadership positions since I was a freshman. I haven't just been a member of the group for a long time. Well one of the points of the training was to give other people the chance to have a leadership position, so I just got to sit back and enjoy the training. There were a few times when the chosen leaders didn't do something or I had to step up and get the group to listen to the leader, but for the most part I got to just cruse. What I thought was the most interesting was a "leadership class" (or well our instructors getting up and talking to us about leadership). Mainly because a lot of what they were saying was extremely similar to, well the mind set of pagans…now I can't remember a lot of what they said word for word, but it had a lot to do with as a leader you have to put the ego aside and believe in everything that you say. Be, Know, Do. Be aware of what needs to be done, Know how to do it, and, well, DO it. Sounds a lot like magick to me. So as witches/pagans we need to be leaders for the world. I think that's kinda cool.

Something that's been bugging me for a while is the fact that I want to change the world. There are so many problems that I can see just by glancing around and I really want to do something about it. But then what the hell can I do. I am one person, and I don't have money or really any power at all, because hello, I am 19. I realized that there is only one thing I can do. Live my life to be an example for anyone that I meet. I want to stop global warming and help heal our mother, I will live greenly and try to compost or recycle everything that I can. I want to change how people drive; I will not let my driving get lazy, not cut people off or run red lights. The only stance that will make any difference is a proactive one. Anyways, it goes back to being a leader. We as pagans need to be leaders of a movement to change how we live, because for gods sake, how most people are living right now is killing us. We have to slow done and realize the satisfaction that comes with hard work, and not instant gratification. I love the cloths I make a whole hell of a lot more than the ones that a bought. Faster is not always better.

Well I hope to have a post of all pictures for the next one, I have a lot of things that I have made and done that I want to show off. So until then.

Tree Houses

2009-03-22T08:22:00.000-07:00

I decided that tree house living is for me! I want to live in a tree house before i die. I am lucky that I have a very flexible boyfriend and when I called him to tell him that we would be living in a tree house he said ok.

Well the first day of spring has come and gone. I unfortunately have been working like none stop since then and haven't had a chance to do anything honoring it. But we will see, it might be during spring break before I get a chance.

My birthday is Wednesday and I have to go to an art show for it, which is kinda annoying. But oh well. I am going to JROTC Spring Camp for five days starting on Friday and I am excited because we will be doing high ropes this year, which is amazing.

Well I have to go to work now.

Been a while...Sold books, new sweat shirt :D

2009-03-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

Here are the books that I have sold so far...

I made this sweet shirt yesterday as my sunday project (I try to make something every sunday) I really like it though the pictures arn't that great.

I am really unmotivated at this time to blog anything. I will later but not now, talk to you all later.

Off and On Again

2009-03-09T22:14:00.001-07:00

This weekend has really been off and on again good and bad. I set out to make two books this weekend, I ruined one, but the second turned out great. I sold that book to the owner of the local pagan shop, and she turned around and sold it within three hours. So that was great. However I agreed to bring more books by on Thursday, and only moments afterwards as I and my mom where driving home, was told that I was rescheduled to work at an earlier time for the next few days, so I won't have any time to really work on anymore books, plus I ran out of the binding tape that I have been using to make books with. So I am kinda…well…feeling really weird because I was so thrilled to make my first sale, but now I have I want to step production up, but can't right now. I have a lot of nervous energy I want to burn off, but am having trouble doing so. And being day light savings doesn't help much. Well I hope to work on books during first period and I hope to all that's holy that I get my order in this week, that way I can give her my books next weekend if not on Thursday. I also need to set up my etsy shop too this week, maybe.

Persephone and Hades Alter Completed

2009-03-08T10:34:00.000-07:00

Hades

2009-03-04T10:16:00.001-08:00

I was continuing work on my first alter yesterday and contemplating the god Hades and what he means to me. And it came to me. Change, Hades is change. I read tarot cards, and like anyone else who does, I know that the death card does not mean literal death, but rather the death of a possibility, which means in essence change. When I deal the death card in a spread I know that in that position there will be something coming to an end, yet there are also other doors that will be opened with that end. One of the things that I always thought was weird is the FEAR of change. There is no such thing as bad or good change, only change. I think that this really came to light the other day, I was talking to my boyfriend and we got into a fight over something stupid, but all the while I was thinking something that I had had on my mind for quite a while. That was that we had changed over the past few months, and that I wasn't sure what that meant for the both of us. Starting this relationship we where both high school kids who didn't have to worry about much, which is great. But he's left and gone though the marines and if that is not life changing I have no idea what it. And I have changed, having to go through high school and getting ready to go to college without having any idea how to pay for it sucks. It's been stressful for the both of us. So in the course of this fight I said it, I told him that he had changed, and that I wasn't sure that I knew him anymore. They where words said in anger, but as I left the conversation to go to work I was still thinking about them. They were true, we had changed and our relationship had changed, but what I had thought was a bad change was really just, well, change. How I felt about him hadn't changed, if anything since I had told him that, I felt relieved, like I didn't have to worry about holding on to what we used to have, but building on for what we will have in the future. Well that boy must think I am bipolar or something because how quickly our arguments end and I am all happy-go-lucky again. Anyways I think this is something that is attributed towards Hades, that change, one door closing and many more opening up. If anything I think from now on when I deal the death card I will no longer feel a since of dread, but rather excitement at being offered new possibilities.

Anyways, on to less…religious things. I am still waiting to get supplies for my books, I have five already to go, all but one has already basically been sold, but I am still waiting for blinding materials that I ordered a couple of weeks ago. I will be setting up an Etsy shop when I start to get these books made and finished, and we will see how well that does. I can't wait till the end of high school. This week is the end of second trimester, and I my one and only final tomorrow for Spanish. Fun, fun. Next trimester will suck, no art, no fun electives, and all core classes. I end my high school career with the worse classes and teachers…I am really hungry, need food lol.

TODAY'S PLAYLIST:
Nightwish – Over the Hills and Far Away
Zombie Girl – We are the Ones
Lunascape – Simplify Me
Dar Williams – Summerday
Android Lust – Leave it Behind
Paramore – My Heart

First Alter

2009-03-02T15:16:00.001-08:00

I have started to make the first out of the three alters that will be dedicated to three sets of gods and goddesses. This first alter will be Persephone and Hades. I chose to make my first alter in their honor because they are the two that I am most familiar with. I have always felt drawn towards Persephone, I don't remember how old I was when I read the myth but it always stuck and I could read it over and over again. Recent years I have been drawn further towards Persephone and the myths and energies that surround her. There are several reasons why I have always felt this connection toward her. She was young innocent and care free as the maiden goddess Kore. No worried, no troubles. Innocence of childhood and I can remember that time in my life when I was like that as well. As I got older many things that I had once relied upon where upturned, the innocence of childhood and that veil that the world is very small got torn away rather quickly for me. I found myself depressed, unable to hold onto anything good within my life and I found myself on the verge of suicide. I find this rather like when Kore was taken by Hades and brought to his under domain. (Now I am going to take a little side track, but it all makes since in my own little head) In the book that I am reading that is about Persephone and her role in myths, called Persephone Unveiled (don't remember who it's by) talked about the state of the dead in Hades being controlled by the state of Persephone. When Kore was taken from her mother and made the Queen of the Underworld all her future potential was taken away from her. She was what she was and couldn't change while in the realm of Hades. The dead in Hades where like this as well, wondering, stuck with their consent identity that will never change. The example the book used was: "If you died a murder, in Hades you will always be a murder." And like Kore the dead long to regain that ever changing identity of living rather than the constant identity of death. Yet Kore was given that second shot at life, at a changing identity that will grow like the world around her grows. She was released by Hades to her mother. However she chose to eat six pomegranate seeds given to her by Hades before she left. (I know some versions say more or less, but in my practice I really do believe that she ate six, Madron to Ocstera) In my personal belief this is when Kore truly became Persephone. She ate of her own free will seeds that would ever bind her to Hades. I was discussing this with a friend who is very interested in Greek myth, and I told him about the dead reflecting Persephone's none changing state, and he replied, "But she does change, in the end she loves Hades and willingly allows herself to be connected to him and her position as queen of the dead." And I think that has a point, but drawing on my own personal experience that I had when I was in a terrible mental state, when I found myself in a world beyond my control. In that world that I couldn't control there came a point where change came in the state of none changing and existence that I felt that I had. And I think that this very well could have happened to Kore. While in Hades she reached that point of change that happened with no change. Her situation did not change for the better or worse, she merely came to a point of acceptance, choosing to no longer fight against the total identity which she had become, and thus took the seeds from Hades becoming forever more Persephone. Now this is when I will tie this all together. As I stated before I came to a point where I realized that I could not change the world around me, I came to accept my existence in the cold world of adult hood. Acceptance is wonderful, I think in AA acceptance is the first step to recovery. Anyways Persephone was never again the young innocent Kore that she had been before she was taken by Hades. Her nature was forever darker and touched by that time, and she would always return to be the Queen of the Dead, not forsaking either states of existence, but balancing. She brought aspects of her life with Hades in her life with her Mother and aspects of the life with her Mother in Hades. She walks two different paths, forgetting neither as she walks the other. Which, last, is like my normal life and my spiritual path, because really to be accepted in normal society, there are something's that you have to leave private. I think she represents a since of balance in your life and between life and death.

Hades was more difficult for me to find connection in my life and understanding. Hades, one of the three brothers who drew lots and was given rule over the land of the dead. One of the thing that always stuck me was something my language arts teacher said when we where studding myths, which was that Hades was not the evil vindictive god that was depicted in later interpretations of the myths, but a sad and lonely god. And honestly, wouldn't you be, if you were given control over a land that everyone feared. Everyone at some level fears death, because it is something that is unknown and mysterious. (just a side note, I really do think that every living thing fears death in some way or another, even people who have completely given up on life and want it, will still deep down will fear it, at least I think so from personal experience) And due to that fear of death that the reputation that the god of death is also to be feared because of that lack of understanding. And due to that fear he is forced into even further solitude. Longing for connection, connection with the very ESSENCE of life that Kore represents, he goes to Zeus who gives him permission to take Kore to be his queen.

And right now that is all that I have for Hades right now, I need to meditate on Hades more, so far a lot of my energy has been directed towards Persephone alone, and I need to balance that with the god aspect as well.

TODAY'S PLAYLIST:
Evanescence – Sweet Sacrifice
Poe – Could've Gone Mad
Bjork – Ruby Baby
Fiona Apple – Sullen Girl

I had a really cool title thought up, and now I can't remember

2009-02-27T22:15:00.000-08:00

So today turned into another day of scrounging things from being thrown away. I walked (well drove) away from school today with about two hundred vinyl records. Some of them look really cool, like classical myths and what not, but most of them are obscure poetry or some lessons for the teachers, so I am looking for things to make with these vinyls. First on the list was bowls. Real easy, just pop them into the oven over a bowl for a few minutes and them melt down around the bowl and they cool extremely fast, and make some pretty cool looking bowls.

Well yesterday was the second time the study group met. It was still extremely fun. We discussed the current lesson that i am on for my coven, which is about deity and what that means and what it means to call upon certain gods and goddesses to our rites and what not. Well the last few rituals that I have done have been, well duds. And when I was reading the lesson and everything I realized that I have been using very broad terms that really mean nothing when it comes down to it. I need to utilize the energies and potential energy around me specifically and use that to my advantage. Well one of the parts of the lesson was that I am to research three sets of deities (god/goddess) and make shrines and honor them and learn how their energies can help me in my life to gain balance. So remembering that my Spanish teacher had a really cool paper alter pattern that we used for making Day of the Dead shrines, I asked her if I could have another copy of the pattern, and then scanned it into my computer that way I can use over and over again and share it. Well anyways I am going to make shrines and research Persephone and Hades, Isis and Orisis, and for the third one I am not quite sure yet. Well here are the alters and the pattern, I will post pics when I get them all decorated.

BEST DAY EVER

2009-02-26T15:51:00.000-08:00

Oh gods was today amazing.
well because I have turned over command of the JROTC Unarmed drill team to next years commander (we didn't make the wild card positions for the next comp) I basically can so what ever I want in first period. So today I went and worked in the art class room. I cut book boards for my next set of books and made prints for them. I have a total of seven books that I am going to be making and selling (all of them already spoken for) and one more for an art show at a local college, so I am going to be busy. Anyways that was really fun.
Second period which is my advisory class was awesome too. The school is getting ready to move to the new building so all the teachers are cleaning out all there stuff and getting rid of a lot of stuff. One of the English teacher has cupboards filled with book covers, like old english texts books with out the book part, and was going to throw them away. Well I took them and I am going to use them to make journals out off :D I have like a hundred or so so far, and that's not even half of them, I will get the rest tomorrow.
Third and Fourth period went smoothly.
In art which is my last period I made more prints and discovered more of the material that I use to make the covers of my books, so that was exciting. But right after school is when the most amazing thing about today happened. My boyfrined texted me....

HE GETS TO MEET THE FREAKING PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is one of seven marines who gets to meet the president tomorrow when he comes to his base...that is not awesome!! Obama is like my idol so I am uber jealous, but so extremely proud of my boyfriend that he got selected to do this. I think that is really cool.

And the day isn't over, I still have the second session with the study group that I am joining. I am going to teach them how to knit and the weaving spells that I do with knitting, and we are going to work on a lesson from my coven.

It's been just wonderful.

New Moon and Current Projects

2009-02-24T21:35:00.000-08:00

New moon tonight and here are my current projects.

Satan and More Sewing evil laugh

2009-02-22T22:25:00.000-08:00

Well at the study group that I did last Thursday one of the things that we discussed was our rather...interesting...experences that we have had with other local pagans. I told her about one guy who got my email from witchvox, hacked it and got my last name and called me house, and she said that it sounded like a guy that she had met. However she made some off hand comment, something like "sounds like something he would do, he used to be a satanist." and she went on to say that Satan doesn't exist and was a corruption of the pagan god pan. Anyways that got me thinking about a few things.

My personal understanding about the "god/desses" is that for them to exist we must BELIEVE that they exist. I have never not believed that the Christan god "exists" in the capacity that the thought form for what he/it represents to those how worship him. However this MUST extend to other entities at the same time. Satan is believed by millions of people, so the thought form of satan exists, not matter what the origins of such a being came from. It might not be a pleasant thought form, but it still is one. So I kinda find it hypocritical of wiccan/pagans, to decide that their god/desses exist because they believe it, but other ones don't. They either all exist or none of them. Anyways, thats just my thoughts on the situation

I do not worship any devil or Christan god.

But this brings me to a question that I have always wondered about, even before I was pagan. Christians always talk about have ONE GOD, how ever isn't the Devil a god himself. He has the powers to rule over a part of the after life and sway people to do things that are "sinful" and I see that as the opposite of the Christan god, and therefore he is a god as well. But thats besides the point.

My parentals where gone for the weekend with my younger sister and brother, so I had the run of the house and the opportunity to make even more stuff. I have decided that I really want to try to make something every weekend, be it a shirt or whatever. This weekend I started out with two shirts from goodwill, a nice white shirt and a huge guys plaid shirt and made two pairs of underwear and a shirt for myself. I think it was a very productive weekend :D

Here is a picture of the shirt.

Study Group and Masks

2009-02-19T20:45:00.000-08:00

Today has been quite the interesting day. It started out fairly normal. However when I got to my art class, which is the last period of the day I had finished my current project and wanted something new. So my teacher had me and one of the other girls in my class make masks over each others faces. Oh my goodness that was so much fun. It was really interesting though. It was so relaxing to have some one put this plaster over your face. After the first layer is down and it starts to dry really quick you can't feel them touching you. What you do feel is this kinda cold sensation when they place the next wet layer, because that moisture will come down to your face. I don't know I was instantly in my mind chanting one of my favorite chants while I was making this mask. It was pretty intense. I will end up making this mask wearable I think. I will post pictures when I am completely done.

Also today, I went to pay a differed ticket that I have, only to be told that I couldn't pay it until Oct 20th which is when my "review hearing" is. And I told them that I would not be here for the hearing, and they said that I would have to write a letter saying why and send the check then or something, and even then the judge might add the $52 fee for not coming to court, I think that is so much B.S.

However the police station where this all took place is like a block away from the local pagan store. I don't get down there very often, just because I don't go down town very often. But I love the shop and the owner is really very nice. She has done all my piercings and everything lol. Anyways I went in there and bought a nice new tarot deck and she agreed to buy and sell my books in her store!!! I am so excited :D I just have to wait to get the shipment with all my supplies for the next few books and make them and sell them. i am so excited. So I will also put up some on Etsy.com too, so I have a website that I can put in with the book.

And last, today I got together for a "study group" thing that I am doing with a friend on mine's mom of all people. It was really fun and nice though, and this will be a weekly thing for us I think. I don't know, it is extremely refreshing to be treated AS an ADULT amongst adults. I don't know it's hard to explain, but I have gotten to the age where half the world thinks of me as an adult and the rest as a kid, and that is really extremely annoying. Well it was so nice and fun. Basically we just started out by discussing what we do and how we came to our path. Next time I am going to teach her how to knit and about the little magick and spells I do in my knitting. And she is going to teach me about gems and stones and how she uses them for magick.

It was a great day, I even got to see my boyfriend on the webcam. I couldn't ask for better.

Well I hope you all are well.

SEWING EXTRAVAGANZA

2009-02-16T19:46:00.000-08:00

I don't know I was in a mood to sew today and I had a bunch of projects from a very AWESOME podcast called threadbanger that I wanted to do. So I went to Goodwill and Joanne's fabric and got materials and started/finished two projects. First was the tie scarf, made out of three scarves sewn together. I think next time I will use 6 so that it can be reversible.

I also altered a shirt that I got at goodwill into a urban goddess type shirt, or peasant type I am not sure lol. I really like it a lot. It took me a while with a lot of mistakes. I will upload some more pictures later, this one was the only picture that turned out well. But the end result looked really good I think :D

I also got some coolo yarn that I am going to use to teach myself to make socks and make a pair for my boyfrined. I am not sure how they will turn out saying that I have never pearled before and am teaching myself that too lol. I didn't finish the scarf that I have been working on forever, though I worked on it a lot while I was at the drill competition. Anyways thats what I did today :D

Great News

2009-02-15T15:39:00.001-08:00

Well the letter that I have been waiting for has finally came. I have been accepted into Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle Washington. I am so excited. But as to if I will be able to go or not is still up in the air. I won't find out if I have been awarded any scholarships or financial aid till April. So we will see. I am still waiting to hear from Western Washington University, which would be my second choice. But it would be seriously cool to be able to go live in seattle.

Well I had a JROTC competition this weekend. Before I went to did a small little spell using tarot cards and my zen garden…for good leadership and victory on my part (I am the unarmed drill team commander). Well the spell worked…kinda. I personally placed third in the commander's position. I am the first commander from my school to place that high for almost four years. However to make it to regionals we needed third place team or better. As a team we placed 5^th. So this may have been my last competition. We may be up for a wild card position, which we will find out in the next week or so. But for the most part the competition went well. On the way home our bus slid and almost tip but we lived so it's all good.

Deployment

2009-02-12T18:19:00.001-08:00

I had a whole other blog planned for today, but it's going to be put on hold. I just found out that the BF will be shipping to Afghanistan in September. And he's known for a while and has been sitting on the information, I only found out because I questioned how much leave he is planning on taking in April, leaving only a few days for the rest of the year. But I guess if he's going to be gone for a year then what he takes now doesn't matter that much. So my first year of college will be spent with him 12 time zones (or 11 I don't remember) away from me. This sucks ass. I wish he had never joined, it's just a little crushing to hear that.

Interesting Day

2009-02-10T21:28:00.001-08:00

Today has been…interesting. It didn't start out very well…I was very annoyed at my unarmed drill team to the point I wanted to rip my hair out. We have a competition this weekend and there are just something that these kids should be able to do by now, but I guess they are still struggling with. And when all your efforts to teach them have failed you really want to kill someone. Anyways. The rest of the day was fine, though it was kinda in that crappy zombie mode I get after my time of the month and coming off those hormones. Well in my art class, my last class of the day, my teacher asked me if I would put my book in an auction/high school art show. She doesn't think that there would be any other book entries and that mine is so well made, plus I am putting block prints that I made into it, that it would go for a pretty high price. So I am going to put my book into the show. I am ordering more materials to make more books and I plan on opening a store on Etsy…maybe if I can sell a few more in the local pagan store. Anyways so I will be making myself a better book to become my BOS…or maybe just use the leather one after all.

Oh I also got accepted to WSU…though once again it wasn't a school I really wanted to go to. The two schools that I want to go to haven't gotten back to me. WWU and Cornish college of the Arts. So hopefully I will make it.

Book’s 2

2009-02-09T21:11:00.001-08:00

I think I will use the book that I made as my BOS I am extremely attracted to it, and even though this might not be the last B.O.S but it will be the first. Anyways here is how I plan to lay it out.

Spring (section one)
- Information about the Maiden Goddess
- Information about the Young God
- Myths about young Gods and Goddesses
  - Hymn to Demeter, story of Persephone
- Information about Air
- Base of the Witch's Pyramid: To Know
- March Esbath
- Ostara
  - Information about the Sabbath
  - Ritual ideas
  - Spells
- April Esbath
- Beltain
  - Information about the Sabbath
  - Ritual ideas
  - Spells
- May Esbath
- Spells related to things relevant during spring
Summer (Section 2)
- Information about the Maiden goddess and the Beginning change to the Mother Goddess
- Information about the Young god and the change to the great father, horned god, green man
- Myths about more mature Gods and Goddesses
  - Gia
  - Change between the holly and oak king
- Information about Fire
- Second layer of the Witch's Pyramid: To Will
- June Esbath
- Litha
  - Information about the sabbath
  - Ritual ides
  - Spells
- July Esbath
- Lugh
  - Information about the sabbath
  - Ritual ideas
  - Spells
- August Esbath
- Spells relating to Summer
Fall (section 3)
- Information about Mother Goddess/ goddess of harvest
- Information about father, horned god, oak king, green man
- Myths about harvest gods
- Information about water
- Third layer of the Witch's Pyramid: To Dare
- September Esbath
- Mabon
  - Information about Sabbath
  - Ritual ideas
  - Spells
- October esbath
- Samhain
  - Info
  - Ritual
  - Spells
- November Esbath
- Spells relating to Fall
Winter (Section 4)
- Information about crone/dark mother goddess
- Information about dark lord god
- Myths about crone god/ddess
- Information about Earth
- Fourth layer of the Witch's Pyramid: to be silent
- December esbath
- Yule
  - Info
  - Ritual
  - Spells
- January esbath
- Imbolc
  - Info
  - Ritual
  - Spell
- February Esbath
- Spells relating to winter
Spirit (Possibly)
- Connection between the lower and higher self
- Meditation

Book Dilemma

2009-02-08T21:38:00.001-08:00

Ok A little while ago I bought a very nice leather bond journal, planning on making it my B.O.S. I had it custom ordered from a woman on Esty.com and it cost me a pretty penny, specially because it was being shipped from Canada. Well I have just now finished the planning on how my B.O.S is going to be laid out, so I haven't started working in the book. And since I got this leather bond journal I have learned how to bind books myself. So now I have no idea if I want to use the leather one or a book that I just made for a portfolio piece. There are good things about both and bad things

LEATHER JOURNAL:
Pros:

Big
Lays flat
White paper
Leather
More pages (400 back and front)

Cons:

Binding makes it into six sections, almost like six books, makes it hard to divided into four
Soft cover, awkward to hold and read from
Thin paper, almost like computer paper

MADE BY ME JOURNAL:
Pros:

Made by me
Hard cover, easier to read and hold
Thicker pages
Cause I made it, already divided into four equal sections

Cons:

Paper is not white, kinda a grey color
Smaller writing surface because it doesn't lay completely flat
Fewer pager (160 front and back)

So they really are right at about equal, which is annoying, if there was one that was clearly better it would make the choice a lot easier, and most likely I wouldn't be writing this blog. So I would love your opinions about the two. Just some outside feedback would be nice.

And lastly I think that I will look into making books like the green one and selling them on Esty.com and at the local pagan store. It's just a thought and it would give me something to do this summer while I am waiting to go to school.

Well I hope you all are well.
~Aeshe

TONIGHT'S PLAYLIST:
Black Tape for a Blue Girl – Across a Thousand Blades
Blackmore's Night – God Save the Keg
Demonika and the Darklings – Wandering Wondering
Epica – The Devine Conspiracy
Espers – Travel Mountains
Fern Knight – Lock Na Fooey
Lauren Hoffman – The Addict

Didn’t Want to Wake Up

2009-02-06T06:55:00.001-08:00

So I really didn't want to wake up this morning. Not because I was practically tired, but because of the dream I was having. I don't often dream and when I do it is normally about nonsense and I don't remember it very well. But last night it was crazy clear and I can remember it. I dreamt that my boyfriend was home and we were going to go to the school dance that is coming up like this weekend I think. Anyways made me sad when I woke up. It really sucks having a boyfriend who is stationed now completely across the country. Anyways.

And I woke up and one of my Hermit crabs died last night. It was my favorite one, the first one that I got…so now I am sad. So I think today might not be the best day.

I have decided that I am going to do my B.O.S completely according to the seasons, to it will be divided into four, Spring, summer, fall, winter, and everything that I put in there will be according to the season that it would best fit.

Imbolc

2009-02-05T21:20:00.001-08:00

I did my little imbolc ritual today. It wasn't much, but Imbolc would have to be the one Sabbath I know basically nothing about. I would like to learn more, but I have not been able to find any real good resources as far as Celtic myths. And saying that I usually only use Greek god/desses when working, it also adds to the level of none understanding. So I normally do not really pay much attention to it, other than a passing charge of the goddess or what have you. However this year I chose to put something more towards the feel of the Sabbath because for the first time it really did feel like spring was getting closer. I noticed song birds around my high school, and green grass starting to grow. However on the second I was really pretty sick so I chose to wait till I was feeling better…thought the weather turned wintery again. I put out a yellow candle, a ring of stones, and a ring of bird seed (because I had noticed the song birds for the first time, and felt they really show the coming spring) and offered a blessing and to the turning of the wheel. I did it in honor of Demeter, mainly because that is who I am most comfortable with and I usually honor Persephone/Kore, Demeter, and Hecate as the triple goddess. Anyways, that's what I did today.

On a side note, I got my first college acceptance letters the other day. It was for CWU, which is my back up back up, but still it's nice to know that I will be able to go to college forsure.

Today's Playlist:
AngleSpit – 100%
Kula Shaker – Shadowlands
HIM – Don't Close your Heart
Pretty Balanced – Simon's Sleeping
Sharron Kraus – July Skies
Aiden – Son of Lies

I think I might of found the most perfect apartment

2009-02-01T21:39:00.000-08:00

I am hoping to go to art school in seattle this fall, and I have been kinda looking for apartments near the school I want to go to and I think I found a perfect one...it's like 2 miles from school and half way beween the school and the apartment is Pike St. which is awesome. And its like $876 with utilities XD

Been a While

2009-01-29T14:47:00.001-08:00

Well it has been quite a bit longer then I was planning on making this little break of mine. I went to an JROTC drill and rifle competition last weekend, so I haven't blogged since before that. It might have been due to how, well shitty we did at the competition, we got killed and cause I am the commander for the unarmed drill team, I kinda felt like it was my fault. So I haven't been all that thrilled about life lately lol. But that's over with and we will place in the top three next competition XD.

Um, not a whole lot has been going on, I am actually writing this from my living room couch on a school day cause my little sister got me sick. So it's been a stay home a knit day. I have been obsessed with this DIY podcast called ThreadBanger, and have been watching it none stop. I also have a couple knitting projects going on, though they aren't going so fast cause I haven't knitted in ages.

I must say that this scarf is taking a long time, knitting with #5 needles hurts my hands too. Though today I did most of from the strips up…the color looks so much better in person. I also started a blue scarf with this yarn that I have that looks so much like water. I think I am going to make a set of 4 scarves with the elements colors, cause I could wear them to help remind myself of what elemental traits I want to focus/attune myself with on a particular day. It was really funny though I started the blue scarf and had that idea on the newmoon (Monday I am pretty sure) which I had no idea was in a water sign lol. Well I am going to get yellow and green yarn like the blue (I already have red yarn like it) and like the scarf above, I am going to add strips into the blue one, So the end will be a large part of blue, a couple rows of green, then yellow and last red, so it's like you're walking round the circle starting at water, and then the rest of the scarf will be blue. And so on and so forth with the rest of the scarves. So I am waiting to get the rest of the yarn to finish the blue one.

Anyways this has brought me to something that is a bit of an, well annoyances, and something that I don't understand much. When I look for craft (magick/wicca craft, not like art's and crafts) stuff online, almost every single store I come across sells that same stuff. And it's the same for the local pagan store here in town, though I really like the owner. It's all the same stuff, there is very little variety in a religion I would think that there would be the most room for it. I want handmade items, unique items that not every mainstream pick up Raymond's Big Blue book and I am wiccan has. And I don't understand why I can't find stuff like that more fecently. There are a few sellers on Ebay and Etsy that sell some wonderful stuff but you really got to dig to find it. I would love to open my own pagan/awesome/cool stuff store and help people by pass all the junk that there is out there. I just don't think that we should mainstream ourselves…which is what it seems like to me a lot of the time. Anyways, just my little rant right there.

On another DIY note, I think I am going to make this blog almost a DIY for pagans, cause once again I have a hard time finding pagan inspired crafts that are awesome, or just crafts that I like, so I am going to make this a place to get kinda stalked up on awesome ideas. And you all should check out threadbanger.com, because that it an amazing podcast.

So DIY #1: Inspired by the lesson I just did in my coven *drum roll please*

Ice Cube Candles

These are very easy way to have whatever candle color you need for your next candle spell. They are tiny candles that don't take long to burn out, so you don't have to wait forever and worry about your house burning down. I use them for my less formal candle spells, little spells I do here and there and addition to any other spell I do. If I want something for a more important spell I make pop-can candle, but I will talk about those later.

You will need:
Wax (a bought something like 20lbs of wax on clearance for like $10 and I haven't even gone though a 4^th of it), Color packs (wax with high levels of pigments, comes in primary colors so you can make whatever color you want, the more you put in the darker the color will be, I have never tried using just food coloring and I don't think that it would work well, kinda like trying to mix it into melted chocolate, just doesn't work well), cotton thread/twine (thicker the longer it will burn), Ice cube tray (I have always wanted to use the water bottle Ice cube tray that's silicone, cause they are little cylinders, but haven't been able to find one for a price I will pay), if you want scented candles then essencal oil (I normal don't sent them, they burn more discreetly that way), hammer, flat head screw driver, and a double broiler (a pot and a mettle bowl works fine, and I suggest going to good will and finding a bowl that you will use only for candles because wax is a bitch to get off the mettle)

Put water in the pot and put the mettle bowl in the pot, mettle bowl should be larger than the pot so that it sticks out above the pot. The water should be at a level that it doesn't touch the bottom of the bowl. Turn on the stove to low to medium heat; you don't want the water to boil too quickly. Work close to the stove because you will need to move the bowl and let the steam out every once and while so it doesn't boil over.
Using a hammer and a flat head screw driver break of a small piece of wax. Break off close to the edge cause otherwise you will just make a hole in the wax and it will not crack. This wax is to be used to make the wicks.
Put the wax in the bowl and cut a long piece of the cotton twine. Stir the wax as it melts until there are no little chunks floating in the melted wax. You might want to turn up the head when you do this, just not too hot.
When all the wax is melted, hold you twin and lower it into the wax, its ok if it coils on top of its self. Hold it there for about five seconds and then pull it out. Let it drip over the wax in the bowl. Let that layer of wax to cool almost completely, takes about a minute or two. Now here's a kinda tricky part, you have to dip the mix up to four or five more times to get a layer built up and the wick is stiff, however if you hold it in the wax more than a second or too the layer bellow will begin to melt and that dip wouldn't have made a difference. So dip your wick as quickly as possible while all the wick is covered waiting until the last layer has cooled before doing it again.
Once your wick is cooled cut it up into two to three inch pieces and set aside till later.
Break of more of the wax and pieces of the dye blocks. Make the combination of whatever color you want, I am going to pretend we are making green. So it would be more yellow and a little bit of blue. Now there dye blocks are uber concentrated so you won't need more than a pinch or two of it to make about 6 to 7 candles. Throw it all into the bowl with the left over wax from making the wick. Stir until everything is melted and it's a nice color. Remember the color will change slightly when it cools. To test the color cut a strip of paper and dip it into the wax and pull it out and let it cool.
Next pick up the bowl and fill the ice cube mold. You don't want the wax to over fill each mold, so don't fill them all the way, just most of the way to the top.
To put the wicks in, you need to wait for about five minutes. A thin layer of cooled wax should develop on the top of the candles. Stick the wicks straight in, they should stand on their own, if not hold for a few seconds and cut the wick length down.
Cool time is a couple of hours or so…I wouldn't try to pull them out any time before three hours. You can put them in the frig and they will cool in almost half the time.
As they cool they will buckle in the middle, the wax around the edges and wick will sink as it cools, if you want you can save some of the wax and an hour or so after you put the wicks in you can add some more wax and that will reduce the sinking, however I never have bothered to do this, I don't see the point.

So there you go, spell ready candles. XD

New Pic and New Books

2009-01-20T22:39:00.001-08:00

Well I am changing my profile pic due to a request and because i needed too anyways so here you go, best I could come up with in short notice, so this might not stay long. Anyways...

I have two new books for me to use, one (the top one in leather) is to become my formal B.O.S, something so nice it gets passed on for generations lol. The second is to be the rough draft, or "Book of experiments" If I really like something and it goes will it goes into the leather. They are both hand made, the leather one by a lovely woman on Esty.com, while the second I made and bound...that was fun lol.

One more thing

2009-01-19T20:46:00.000-08:00

I watched the first half of wuthering heights on PBS last night and I must say that it was very wonderful and I loved it. PBS shows really good movies. You should all watch it, it's just beautiful, I want their clothing lol :D

Watch it here:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/wutheringheights/watch.html

Must Listen to CD's, Post 1

2009-01-19T20:13:00.000-08:00

Clouds Without Water by Zoar. It's very ambient goth sounding but I find it amazing. They take pieces from gothic literature and make them into songs, or read with music. My favorite is called "Our Way Off Life" which was the inspiration for this post. I believe that song may of been featured on the "Darker Shade of Pagan" music podcast but I am not quite sure.

StrangeFolk by Kula Shaker. Kinda strange music, mix of sounds from different time periods, but it they are able to pull it off somehow. I have never heard 60's style guitar (at least that it what it reminds me off) flow into almost a new age chant thing and sound good. Found this CD in a random search of song titled "Persephone" and it turned out to be an amazing song on an equally amazing CD. Makes me thing of sitting in a little coffee shop listening to a live band. And I must say that the cover art is pretty awesome.

Ophelaic by Emilie Autumn. Been one of my favorites for a really long time. It's gothic loita. Sweeny Todd reminded me of the kind of setting I think about when I listen to this CD. Fav song would be "Shalott", I think she does a really good job of expressing the poem/story in a modern form. She is also an extremely talented violinist and was first trained as a violinist, but changed her mind lol.

Ok, I set off wanting to make a big list, but it kinda got tiring, and I am tired. Been a shitty weekend for the most part, haven't gotten a lot done, worked alot and fought with the boyfriend. So my motivation for this post died after the third one. I will have to continue this later. But you really should check these all out, because they are wonderful, and I love music.

grass meditation vision thingy

2009-01-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

I did yoga before I meditated last night, it was really interesting, I ended up meditating and having this image of me looking at a blade of grass and then I was standing on that blade of grass and I was really really small, so the that the blade of grass was like mountains and the middle was a pass. I waked along the grass and came upon a drop of dew. I wanted to look in it because I could see something in it, and I put my hands up to brace myself, but I fell through water and into the drop. And there where little fish inside. Anyways that's all I remember, i think I fell to sleep after that. But this morning I woke up to freezing fog that had caused a thick layer of frost to gather on everything. And the frost on the grass reminded me of the meditation, because it looked like it's own little world on each blade of grass.

Modern gods

2009-01-13T21:35:00.001-08:00

I work at a major fast food company. Though I don't particularly like the job, it pays enough for what I need for the most part and it's a decent job for a high schooler. Anyways, tonight I was cleaning the lobby and saw the mascot/icon for the particular fast food chain and I was thinking, back in the Greek/roman times the majority of the population worshiped the gods they would see something like and owl and think that it was a sign from Athena. Well we no longer really have that universal superstitions, or very little. So my though are that these fast-food mascots, or just any commercial mascots maybe they have replaced our need for…damn now I can't think of the word…divine images...representations to our mind, oh I got it now, archetypes. I mean come on, every time you see, say, the burger king you think whopper and as the advertisers hope, you get hungry and might start to crave a hamburger. Or the colonel and KFC. I know that every hippy will say that this is due to the mind washing that has accrued in modern society. Yet I am not quite convinced. Maybe these spokesmen work because they remind the part of the mind that was connected with the archetype and to what where the gods of old. Maybe our minds still hunger for something that gives us that instinctual thought and want/need. And in modern society we have created acceptable archetypes of our own. If the hippies are right, than all the people from ancient Greece where brain washed into connecting that owl to the goddess Athena. I don't know but that was just a thought, I don't think that we need to go out and prey to Jack from Jack in the Box, it's just something that I had never really considered before.

That's about all I have.

Today's Playlist:
HIM – the Path
hungry Lucy – Rebirth
Bjork – Gratitude
Emilie Autumn – Shalott
Otep – Home grown
Dar Williams – We learned the Sea

Back Home

2009-01-12T20:54:00.001-08:00

Well I am back from Portland. It was pretty interesting. The funeral for my great-great aunt was nice. It was relatively short, but the reception thing afterwards was really long, and more than a bit awkward. It was a ton of people who where distantly related to me, and I am not much of a crowd person as it is in the first place, but in a crowd where they are consistently "Oh my goodness, you're so big…" and being hugged by complete, yet related, strangers…yeah didn't like that so much. I had real French cheese though, so that was interesting. And the food was good.

Saturday I didn't have to do anything so my dad, aunt, uncle, and two of my cousins went to the Portland art museum. I honestly have to say that I like the Seattle art museum better. However I discovered (or really saw I guess) a piece by william adolphe bouguereau called "Arab girl with pomegranate" and I think that I have found the new personal image for the goddess Persephone, or maybe the goddess Kore. I have been unable to find a picture of the painting online, but his work is amazing. I have to say that he is now right up there with my favorite artists of all time. Him and Klimt and Warhol.

Didn't do much else other then go to the art portfolio evaluation. That went really well, though the lines where long, so I ended up not going to that many colleges, I had my portfolio evaluated by three schools, and two of the three said that I needed to draw more from life. Either still life or using models. The other school said the same thing, except he pulled out three pieces of work and said that these three demonstrated all the qualities that they were looking for in students. And he said that I am accepted into Cornish College of Arts. So I think that was pretty cool. I am still not quite sure if I will go to an art college, or just a university, there are pros and cons to both, and I am not sure at this point which ones out way the other. So we will see.

On a kinda sad note, one of my four hermit crabs died, at least at this point I am pretty sure. It hasn't moved and they normal move around quite a bit. But it was my least favorite, so I guess…I don't know, get another one. I have never been very good at keeping things alive, which is why my boyfriend got me hermit crabs, cause they are pretty hardy, and so far it's been good and I've had them for almost six months. So anyways.

I didn't get a chance to do my Esbath before I left for Portland, so I think I will do it tonight, though we will see. I am also starting out my work out plan today and I am a little worn out from that. I found these podcasts that are pretty awesome, called Fit for Duty. Being and JROTC kid the format was very familiar and it went well though I am tired. Means it worked right lol.

And thanks to all of you who gave me ideas to try to get the lower and higher self to talk. I think that I will defiantly try DarklyFey's finger painting, it sounds amazing.

I really don't have much else to talk about, it hasn't been extremely exciting lately so yeah.

Today's Playlist:
Pink – Humble neighborhoods
Collide – Black
Death cab for cutie – someday
dead can dance – Severance
Nirvana – very ape
HIM – poison girl
Paramore – when it rains

Correction

2009-01-07T13:52:00.000-08:00

Ok, so my HPS read and has pointed out that I confused the two different types of magick that I was talking about in my last blog. Sympathetic magick and contagious magick. I am still working on sorting it all out in my head, cause for the longest time I thought that there was ONLY magick...not different types. So anyways have a good day you all, I will try to post this week end but no promises.

Day Three…for lack of a better title

2009-01-06T18:25:00.001-08:00

Been going good so far. Meditations going well, though the last time I meditated I had the feeling that I was running. Running from something at the same time that I was running towards something, so I was going nowhere, or getting no closer to the place I wanted to be. I am not sure, it is harder to explain then that, but that's how it seems to fit best into words. I thought that it was interesting because there was no feeling of frustration, only the need to keep running. And I hate running, lol. Been working on the coven lessons a bit the last few days, the lesson about the three selves. Been interesting because it was something that my HP and I discussed before I was indicated, however I am reading it now and it really holds a new understanding. In our tradition the names fetch, ego and Ori are used for the three selves. I think that I was having trouble understanding that each of these three is interwoven and performs specific tasks to the whole soul. They are the parts the experience "I feel" "I am" and "I know". It's just interesting to think about how often those terms are used in our everyday life, yet sometimes even though we say them, we might not understand what we are saying or where that feeling comes from. I am still not sure how to get the lower and upper selves to talk, though maybe they already do and I just don't know it…it seems a little technical and kinda, well hard to pull off, but I will work on it.

This weekend I am going to the first funeral I have ever been to. My great aunt died and my dad and I are going to Portland to go to the funeral. We were already planning on going this weekend anyways, because I am going to participate in a Art Portfolio evaluation somewhere down there, so we are just going early. But as I said before I have never been to a funeral before, so it's going to be really weird. I didn't know my great aunt either, I only met her once when I was really little. I feel weird saying this, but I am looking forward to go to Portland. I will get to see a couple of my cousins that I haven't seen since the week of the 4^th of July. And my best friend/cousin who I haven't seen since she left for college. And I am looking forward to being in a big city, because as much as I love small towns like the one I live in, there is just so much more to do in big cities. And because this week end is the full moon, I will be doing my Esbath on Wednesday (I am leaving for Portland on Thursday, and I will be staying with very catholic relatives…so a circle won't really be able to happen, but oh well).

Which brings me to something that I am going to briefly mention because I mentioned it in a past blog and got questions. I like performing my Esbaths on the new moon rather than the full moon most of the time, though I want to start observing both. I believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that when I was sixteen I was told I would have like next to no chance of ever being able to have a kid (wont go into details but it has to do with medication that I took when I was really little and was having bad breathing problems). So I have always felt more than a little cheated at that experience in life. So I never connected to what may develop within me to be the mother aspect of my life, and I am beginning to work to regain that connection, and have a better connection with my own mother. So that's the brief explication, I most likely will go further in dept in another blog.

A few more things before I call it quits. When my boyfriend was here we put together a 3-D wooden puzzle of a stag. I glued it together and spray painted it with black chalk board paint. I have decided that it will be my "prayer/dream" hunter thing….not creative enough right now to come up with a better name. It sits on the stool that serves as my night stand and I will write little preyer or wishes I have to be carried my the horned god. I just think that it is cool. So here's a pic.

And because I was noticing the the pictures of my alter is very very old, I think a year or almost two years, I am posting a pic of my permint alter that I have set up in my room now that I am open with my parents and they haven't tried to stop it…so I think we have come to an understanding. Anyways, it's decorated for winter XD. The thing behing all the candles was my old alter top, but it's really to small to be pratical, though I want to make a new one similar. I should put a how to for that, cause I thought it came out really cool.

Well I can't think of anything else, other than today is a Tuesday in Taurus, and Tuesday being a day for passion and sex while it says that things started in Taurus last the longest and it's good for sensory experiences, I guess if you had sex today it should be pretty damn good…lmao.

Today's Playlist:
Mirabilis - Nature Boy
Lacuna Coil – The Prophet Said
Lunascape – Into the Core
Bjork – Wonderlust
Dido – Us 2 Little Gods
Emilie Autumn – What If
Zombie Girl – Jesus Was a Zombie
Dead Can Dance – The Wind that Shakes the Barley

Oh I did remember something else…a correction to the last blog, I guess I was wrong about what I thought sympathetic magick was…it's take something from someone like hair or fingernails and making something like a poppet (thanks Suntiger). But my HP tells me that you can also do similar magick by taking an item of theirs and working magick on it and therefore them…just a side note XD.

It’s a Big One

2009-01-04T17:53:00.001-08:00

Well today has been a very shitty day.
1) My boyfriend/fiancé left, and this time I have no clue when I will get to see him again
2) My puppy has Parvo Virus, and has a 50/50 shot of living…and he's my puppy baby L
3) It's snowing again, though that is only a bad thing if it does not snow enough to close school tomorrow (and it might, my whole area is under a severe weather warning)

Today's Playlist:
Hekate – Life Unlimited
Dark Sanctuary – Puisses-tu
Otep – Self-Made
Angelspit – Jugular
Collide – Deep
Sharron Kraus – Green Man (you really need to hear this song, it's amazing)

Angry Music for the most part.

I cleaned my room a lot today, along with rearranged it a bit. I figure that it is as good time as any to start to figure out what I need and what I will never use, and what I should keep when I leave. I have less then eight months now I think before I will be leaving. Kinda scary. More than Kinda, it is scary. Cleaning my room also helps me to arrange my thoughts a lot of the time, almost like meditation. While I organize my room I organize my mind. I guess it's a bit of sympathetic magick. Which brings me to my next thought, the few times I have heard someone talk about sympathetic magick it is talked about in a almost condescending way. But from the magick I do and what I have read about, it seems like almost all magick is sympathetic, and I haven't really been able to find an example of magick that's not. Unless I am messing up the definition, but it's magick that is preformed on something else to represent the thing you want to change right? Anyways whatever.

This is the first year that I am using a Magical Almanac (I have the Llewellyn's 2009 one…cause it's the only one that I can find). Today, Sunday January 4^th, the moon is waxing in the sign of Aries and is entering into the second quarter. I just find this interesting because it's a lot of changes for the moon. Entering the quarter and Aries. I was born under aries, and know damn well that it holds quite a bit of sway over my hot tempered life. Personally I have always felt better during the waning period of the moon, though I know that I need to connect more to the mother (full moon, I will talk about that later I think), but that is neither here nor there. Today marks a lot of changes in my life, as well as in the moon. Today my boyfriend left, it's the last day of winter break, and the weather has taken a turn for the worst. However I am going to take aries as a kinda warning sign, because things begun in aries tend to not be completed, and because today was the day that I started my meditation, I will keep it in mind that I need to watch and make sure that I keep up with it. Maybe it's a good omen for my dog though, that is illness will be over quickly and lacks the power to stay.

And the meditation. Today I did what I call, though I don't think I came up with this I am sure I heard is somewhere else, the tree of life meditation. Basically you sit on the ground and as you meditate you visualize roots going down from you through the earth and to the very center, where they connect with the roots of every other living thing that makes the web of life. I also have a tendency to imagine myself as a giant willow when I do this meditation. I have always felt that willows where very peaceful and fluid. I listened to my favorite meditation music while I did this, which is anything by Deuter. Unfortunately, though I guess it shouldn't be surprising, but I had a really hard time entering into that peaceful none thinking state. I guess that goes to show me how long it's been. I used to be able to do that almost as soon as I closed my eyes or focused them on the dark mirror. I worked on drawing my energy to my base charkha, and was able to grow my roots a bit, but I got interrupted. I think I may try again later tonight and will continue this meditation tomorrow. I think this may be the meditation for the week, but we will see.

Lit a candle for Skuld, I hope that all goes well and that you feel better soon. You are in my thoughts.

Last (I think, if I don't think of anything else to add) is my list of new years resolutions, its a few days late, but whatever

Meditate every single day because I don't do it enough
Read every book that I currently own, and then some
Work out every day that I do not go to work
Save at least $60 out of every paycheck
Attempt to sew half of my wardrobe for the year
Drink more tea
Don't eat fried food, or at least very little (I work at KFC, so that means bringing my own dinner)
Work towards eating a more vegetarian friendly diet. I kinda want to move towards being a vegetarian, though not completely
Observe a Esbath every lunar month
Observe all the Sabbaths

Well I hoped you all had a good day, and have a good night

Goodbuy

2009-01-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well I just got back from seeing my boyfriend off, he's back to his training, so now I need to go back and do my list of things. Art and Spanish homework, cleaning, laundry and all that Jazz. I will be beginning my meditations today, and will blog about that later.

I am also really really socked that everyday I log in I have a new follower, it is awesome...XD so thanks Cygnus MacLlyr :D

Just a little side note...

2009-01-03T19:18:00.000-08:00

If you can't tell from the pic, well I am now engaged...though don't hold your breath for the Handfasting, cause it's not going to happen untill he's out of the marines. So thats in about four years...

(the ring is to big, needs to be resized but on well :D)

Time to Start Over

2009-01-03T18:53:00.001-08:00

On the advice of my High Priestess she believes, and I agree, that because I am currently in a growing period for my beliefs, that I need to go back to the beginning and focus on simple meditation and go threw everything to see what is new that I can learn. (cycles, you can never escape time lol…not that I would want to) So this next week I think I will be spending a lot of time meditating and focusing on bringing myself back to the internal for a while. I know for the past few weeks most of my energy has been spent outwardly, mainly focused on the boyfriend. So we shall see how things go. I will keep blogging as often as I can to keep you all updated.

Hello also to SunTiger, bringing my total of followers up to three, you are all great ^o^

My high Priestess's website, Temple Zenith

Hello to Skuld ^o^

2009-01-03T08:40:00.001-08:00

I thought that I would say hello and thanks for following my blog and I like yours :D

1/3 Done

2009-01-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

I have completed one out of the three college applications that I am doing, and really the only one that I want to go to. I ma a little annoyed at the fact that I have to write two different essays for the other two cause their prompts are way different. But soon I will have all that shit done and I am looking forward to it.

I also discovered that my favorite tea company (Tazo) makes bottled chilled drinks...which are completely amazing, you all have to try the giant peach kind, it rocks. Anyways I thought that that was exciting.

Coming To a New Understanding

2008-12-29T08:40:00.001-08:00

I am not really sure if I blogged about this, but a while ago my bestest friend, who up until a few months ago was my only pagan friend, converted back to Christianity. Well because of conflicting schedules, and we'll we where kinda unsteady for a while, both of us unsure of how to act to each other, we haven't been able to hang out much. Well I believe that it was the 20^th, but it was the first time that we had hung out for almost a month. We went to boarders and ran around for a while. All the while we talked, and he told me about the church that he's been going to. I was really glad that we talked, because I was a little worried about him, but he seems really happy, and loves his new church and really studding what he's getting himself into.

Well having him talk about what he now believes and his questions about what I believe, really got me thinking. What the hell do I believe anymore? Because lately I have been moving away more and more from the traditional wiccan personification of the Goddess and the God, and even to a point where some times wiccan books or the like bug me. Mainly because of the focus solely on the goddess, while I have always and will always worship both, for there is and should be equal duality. Anyways, more and more I feel that the only thing I should be worshiping is the earth, and life. Life it's self is the Devine, and therefore anything that lives is a part of the Devine and is concerted within the web of life. Therefore the only meaning of life is to allow yourself to be a vessel for life and promote the life of the world. I am here to live. It also seems to fall in with the thought that with reincarnation we are all one and the same, just on different stages of the journey. I don't know the more I think about it, the more things that seem to fall into place. Therefore I worship life, the nature of all things, the reason that we are all here. I want only a connection to the earth that keeps me alive, and so I must keep the earth in the best condition that I can.

A Follower and A need for Re-Amping

2008-12-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

Hello Darkly Fey :D thanks for following my bolg.

And I think my blog needs a make over lol

Energy Raising with the Boy toy

2008-12-24T20:51:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite energy raising exercises is from the book The Urban Primitive by Raven Kaldera and Tannin Schwartzstein (I must say that last name is worst then mine to spell, holy crap lol). The exercise is basically that you rub your hands together and after a while, pull them apart, focusing on the space in between your palms. You will feel a almost ball of energy, and you can pull it apart and make it bigger or smaller and more concentrated. It took me a while to get really good at it, but I use this to sometimes raise really quick circles, or to just experiment with on just how I can feel the energy. When you close your eyes and do this it is really interesting because it's really easy to "see" and see how you're manipulating it. Anyways, it was something that I have shown my boy friend. Well tonight we were playing around with it, and we did it so we where each rubbing each other's hand. It was really strange because the energy felt a lot different from what I had done on my own. We moved our hands and it was more like the energy was drawing us together, like he would move (our eyes where closed by the way) and my hand would move with his, even though we weren't touching or anything. And then I had him do it just by himself, and he thought the same things, that the energy was a lot different. I have never done anything like this before so I thought it was really cool. Anyways just felt like sharing.

Yule Tide Blessings

2008-12-23T23:20:00.001-08:00

Ok I think that I am doomed to ever have all my plans for Sabbaths fall through, if I make them. Well this Sabbath I must say was hella interesting. It all really started on Friday the 20th, the day that my boyfriend, who is a Marine and stationed in Southern California, was due to fly in. Well if you live in Washington, then you are well aware of the turn the weather took shortly after three on Friday. When it rains it pours and that counts when it snows too. Fortunately my boyfriends flight to SeaTac made it safely, however shortly after that all flights in and out of SeaTac where cancelled, which included the fight that would take my boyfriend all the way home. So now here I am, all ready to celebrate Yule, freaking out about my boyfriend not being able to get home. I end up spending the night at my boyfriend’s family’s house, because we were going to drive over to Seattle in the morning, if the passes where open and if he couldn’t get another flight.

So the day of Yule dawn still continuing with blizzard conditions, that made even getting out of his parents drive way a almost impossible task, and by the time we got half an hour down the road towards Seattle, we found out that the pass that would be the fastest rout there was closed. So we turned back, his parents not wanting to make the longer trip in his sister’s Blazer. So my dad and I set out in our trusty Mini Van, over the much longer White Pass rout, that was still open and full of skiers. So we set of at about 11 that morning. We made it to SeaTac in one piece, after a close miss (a stupid state patrol car was parked IN the left hand lane to go check out a accident in the RIGHT hand lane, and we almost hit the car cause we were trying to avoid the accident on the right…but anyways). Find my stranded Marine, and drive back. The whole trip lasting 11 hours, so what plans I had for Yule where quickly abandoned. And for the first day of winter I must say Mother Nature really went all out this year.

My boyfriend and I celebrated Yule on Monday the 22nd, with a short circle, the first one that we have ever done together. I spent most of it explaining the Sabbaths and the myth of the Holly and the Oak king and talk about the triple goddess and god. He’s been interested in paganism but I am not sure if it is more than a passing interest due to my involvement, but whatever his interest is I am willing to teach him. We did a power drawing exercise that he enjoyed, and burnt a “Yule Log” with wishes and had some apple cider. And that was basically it. Nice and Simple.

So hopefully by the middle of Jan, I will be done with all this senior year of high school shit and will be able to focus more on my religious studies, because I have really been neglecting those lately. I have also decided that I really want to write out my book of shadows. So I am looking for some nice bound leather journals.

Etsy.com is an amazing place to find things like journals

Maybe I will just make my own, I don’t know yet

It's been a while

2008-12-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

It’s been a while since I have sat down and written a blog. Honestly I guess life just kinda ketches up with people, and you are left wondering what the hell happened to all that time. So here I am sitting down, finally, and writing this. It’s been a pretty stressful few weeks. School is getting really stressful. It’s now the second trimester of my Senior year in high school, so deadlines are looming. My senior project is due on January 9th (I am making a graphic novel, and I have kept putting it off so now I have to really haul ass on it.) though my presentation isn’t until like march. I don’t really see the point of having it due so soon, it’s not going to take me three months to create a PowerPoint. Anyways, I have to have that to graduate. Also I have to fill out college applications. The application for the school I want to go to isn’t due till march but if I want to try and get scholarships I need it done by the end of December. Which now has me worried about my SAT scores, which I was told where ok, but not the best, so I chose not to retake them. And I have to also apply for scholarships so I don’t end up in debt up to my eye balls. Along with that shit, I have to worry about being the battalion commander, and Unarmed drill team commander for my school’s JROTC program (the drill team and I placed third this last week end out of about 15 schools so that was pretty cool), and I work 20+ hours a week. So anything personal has really been put on the side. On a better note though…I am now (or I should say soon to be, because he’s asked me, but not “officially”) engaged. I don’t plan on the wedding being anytime soon, just in the future. We both have a lot of things to deal with, him living through his four years in the Marines, me living though my final few years of school. He has said that he wants to help finance my way through school, because he really does make quite a bit more money than I do. However I really feel that this is something that I need to do on my own, because I want to be able to prove to my self that I an make it on my own. I don’t want to go straight from relying on my parents to relying on a husband.

Religiously I have just had a hard time finding time to make for full rituals. I have been for the last few months, if I was having trouble focusing or with stress at school, just reciting the Goddess chant. I hope that with the new year and the completion of some of these projects that I will have more time. I want to start attending a study group that one of my friend’s mom is going to be hosting after the new year. I also want to ketch up with the studies of my coven, because I have kinda put those aside for a time. Plus my reading list has gotten huge. I am reading the Gospel of the Witches, which shouldn’t take me to long, so long as I get the chance to sit down and read it. Also so I have three books that I have started and never finished. I am also going to be planning my Yule ritual, which this year will include my boyfriend, because he comes home ON Yule. So we both want to do something special. But I have to say getting to pick him up at the air port will be the best Yule gift ever. I was kinda thinking of doing a almost “Hand fasting”ish rite, because, well, we are getting/are engaged. We are also getting kinda matching tattoos. When he was at basic training I did a little spell, a weaving spell like almost all mine are, that included red, green and orange colored yarn and ribbon. I made two matching braided anklets and sent one to him, saying that the colors meant “may love grow in strength”. So we are both getting tattoos in green orange and red, though I am not sure if that will be this visit or not. He will also be home for the dark moon Esbath, which I plan on doing the protection spell that I have been planning and putting off for a while. Anyways so this will be interesting.

The last thing that I am going to say is that I bought the Seasons of the Witch Daily Planner 2009 by Victoria David Danann and received it in the mail. I am disappointed. I guess I was expecting something a little more artistically pleasing. As an artist I am not impressed by the artwork or the lay out, and don’t think that it was worth the almost $40 I spent on it. It will be help full, however I think that any old day planner would have done about the same thing. So if you’re thinking about getting it, look at some one else’s copy first, because I didn’t think that it was all that great.

Last November

2008-11-29T16:33:00.000-08:00

This will be the last November post, lol.
Well I hope everyone had a good thanks giving. I for one, had a pretty good one. It was also the dark moon, so i did my Esbath then. That was pretty interesting. With out going to much into details, it was my time for my "womanly cycle" so I did my esbath rite in the shower, it was really nice, and a good stress reliever. There is just something about chanting with water falling on you that makes all the little things run off of you. So anyways it was good. And last night I was going to hold a more formal ritual, but crashed after the set up, so I did it first thing this morning. It was nice, I liked the shower Esbath better, however. I was trying out the solitary circle casting from my coven, which I hadn't used before, so there is just something not as magickal when you are reading from the screen of your laptop. And plus the tea I had brewed for it was cold...and not one of the teas that tastes good cold. But oh well, it went well.
I was going to do a lengthy protection spell, or at least start it, however, this new moon kinda crept up on me, so I wasn't able to get the materials that I want to use for it, so it will have to wait for December. Which is fine with me. I did do a spell to help me with my aggressive driving problem...I just recently got my second ticket in that last six months (and both where failure to yield right of way tickets, so yeah...) so hopefully that will help a bit. And that's all I really have to say.

Hope you are all looking forward to the yule season...I am for sure this year, because next year I have no idea if I will be able to come home, but we'll see.

A little change of plans

2008-11-18T15:55:00.000-08:00

Well I am back from California, I have been back for a while. My boyfriend is good, very much the Marine now, but I guess that is what can be expected, and he is back in California for some more training.

So the last week + some, my life has more or less been oh hold, just because, well, I was preoccupied with something, or well someone. The normal balance I had been living had been a little thrown off. However I am no where near complaining.

Well I guess my boyfriend is pretty interested in participating within my spiritual path, and we have had some very good discussions and he feels paganism follows along what he felt all along, so that was interesting. Before he left, he showed only a little bit of interest, but now quite a bit more so. And because of that I was going to do a circle with him, I think on the 14th, which was the full moon. But things didn't go as planned, we weren't able to do the circle, he was actually asleep on my couch when I was going to start, and well, I couldn't wake him up for more than a few minutes. So I just let him sleep, and when I went down and was getting ready I realized I was in the same state, if I sat down for a few minutes I would end up asleep too. So I am putting my Esbath ritual off until the New Moon, which is when I normally do it anyways.

I am also thinking a bit more about the future. I am going to be leaving for college soon, I am trying to decide what I should bring with me. I have all my basic alter supplies in a chest, but it doesn't fit everything, and I am considering if I should take it all or not...but we will see.

At the New Moon I plan on doing a protection spell, a pretty hefty one, that I am going to do twice, one to send to my Marine. Anyways, its going to be a weaving spell that will take a few nights...well until the Full moon for me to finish. But other than that I have no plans.

Samhain

2008-11-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

Well, Samhain went very well XD
On the 31st I went though my initiation, which was amazing, and I had a really good Tarot reading. I am looking at a really pretty decent year. lol.
And then on November 1st, I went to my friend's and her mom's group Samhain feast, which was very interesting and pretty fun, and I got to honor my third grade teacher that died from breast cancer years ago.
Anyways, Hope you're Samhain went well.

I am off to California in about two hours, to go retrieve my boyfriend from basic training and bring him home. I will post pictures. I have to have a picture of my hugging a palm tree, because I have never seen a real life palm tree.

Hope you all have a good week.
~AEshe

Senior Pictures

2008-10-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

Lol, these are just a few of my senior pictures. Anyways, hope you like.

Dia De Los Muertos

2008-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hola, me llama Bernadette, he tomado dos anos en la escueala. Noviembre primero es el día de los muertos.

Lol, sorry.
Well, as said above, if you can't understand my, well, shitty second year Spanish, November 1st in Spanish speaking countries, is the day of the dead, also known as all saints day. Its a day where many different cultures recognize that the veil between the worlds is thin. Yet, as much as I love Samhain, I have never thought about the ancestral celebrations that went along with it. It may be because I have never really experienced a death within my close family, which I am thankful for, but I don't have an experience with the lose, and then the feeling of closeness and comfort from that love one that the thinning of the veil can bring. So as I am sitting in school learning about el dia de los muertos, looking and seeing the alters and care that goes into this celebration, it kinda gives a new perspective to what this holiday means to so many people. It means comfort in grief, feeling of being reunited. I think that is such a powerful feeling, I can only imagine the spiritual feeling that accompanies it. Anyways, I just think that it is interesting to learn how human beliefs and hopes are HUMANLY the same, no matter where you go.

So enjoy your dia do los muertos along with your Samhain, and remember those who came before and paved the way for you to be where you are today.

Bear Thoughts

2008-10-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

Well...I all ways have been a bit of an insomniac...I have never slept well. With my stress level from school and work and the building excitement of seeing my boy friend in under a week has added to this problem, where, as I am sure you can imagine, I would lay awake way past my bed time. So after reading a passage in a book I am reading (I am pretty sure its called Drawing Down the Moon) where it talks about using animal imagery to complete your goals (using the example of a Bear getting fish, which allowed the person to...well...get a lot of fish) I figured I would give it a shot in my sleeping problems. So I thought of my self as a bear, hunkering down and getting ready for a winter long uninterrupted hibernation.

I have to say, I haven't had that good of a night sleep in a really long time, and it worked the next night, so I am extremely happy, and my stress level is beginning to drop, which makes me even happier, so all and all its been a pretty good couple of days.

So if you're having trouble sleeping, picture yourself as a bear...it really does work pretty well.

Cancer Scare

2008-10-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

My family is at a very high risk for skin cancer, my cousin and my grandmother have both had it. And when my dad saw a irregular mole on my back, they freaked, the family doctor freaked, but the dermatologist was a voice of reason, and its not cancer, but I am getting it removed cause its most likely pre-cancerous. So anyways there was three days of my life where I thought that I was going to die of cancer (no not really, but it was still really stressful).